Some nights I go to bed with this fear.... this fear that I settle for mediocrity way too easily. Then other nights I go to bed with a different fear.... this fear that I might have to actually rise above mediocrity!
For the past year or so I've had this persistant nagging feeling that I need to live an extraordinary life. My religious convictions definitely tell me this, but it's all too easy to lie to myself and say that I am following my beliefs. But I keep being faced with this challenge of being extreme. This idea that I can't settle for comfort, for safety, and for a life wasted on my own pleasures.
I have long had a taste of disgust in my mouth for the "American Dream". But no matter how bad the flavor, I keep eating it. I swallow more and more every single day, and now it is the nourishment that sustains me and drives me. Unfortunately my "nourishment" is really a poison that kills me slowly each minute.
OK, so enough of the drama here.... I got going and I couldn't stop with the strong analogies of death and doom (it's fun sometimes). Really though, I keep feeling that I need to live an extraordinary life, but everything inside of me longs for ordinary at the same time. I happen to be a very fearful person who uses high levels of control to attempt to block anything I fear that might threaten my own personal happiness in the little world I've created around me. This is a terrible, horrible thing to do by the way.... so if any one else out there is guilty of this you should definitely stop before you push away everyone and everything of value by trying to hold on to them too tightly.
(Man, I keep trying to make this light-hearted and it keeps coming back down a notch. I'll keep trying, bear with me!)
Anyways, so here you have this, fearful, controlling, high-maintenance (yes, I can finally admit that), lazy girl who is so scared of the unknown and of pushing herself when she doesn't have to that she's content to stay right where she's at..... who's being totally dragged into an extraordinary life. I'm sure if I ever get to the place deemed "extraordinary" (I have no idea where that actually is or what it entails by the way) I'll be able to look back on the things I gave up (comfort, security, an easier life) and say it was all worth it. But.... I'm just.... not quite..... there yet (those dots are meant to represent the tug of war going on inside of me).
I do want it though. I do want to be free. I want to be free of worrying about all the things that are not mine to worry about. I want to be able to stand for something bigger than myself and really make all the sacrifices that are necessary to accomplish the goals associated with that. I want to be free of seeking things that will only leave me empty in the end. I want to instead, pursue things that fill me with the breath I was meant to breathe.... with the life I was meant know.
It's so big, you know? Life is so huge! Sometimes when I'm worry about all the little things and stuck in the cycle of useless, unimportant obsession in my head.... I stop and think about how many facts a person could learn about puppies, or about wallpaper, or about bone marrow. There is so so so much. So much to talk about, learn about, do, and experience. And I get stuck in my own safe routine, in my own oh-so tiny world. It confines me and it traps me. My own measures of protection, my own safety defenses, are what attack me. I'm working so hard to let them go. To let them go and to just trust.
For so long I have trusted only in myself.... only in my knowledge and my abilities. I need to start to trust in my LACK of knowledge and abilities. In the world that is bigger than I, in the people that have lived more than me, in the God that actually created all of it. I know nothing and I am nothing. But there is a ton out there to become and to be. And I want to go after it.
I may never get a house. I may never have a 401K (still don't know what that means really but I think it's something people want). I may never please everyone and I may never feel completely comfortable ever again.....
But I need and want to be OK with that. I want to be excited about trading in the mundane for a life of extraordinaire. I need to realize that as long as I pursue my stability, comfort, and personal happiness above all else.... I will never get any farther than that. I will never know what life was meant to be and how it was meant to be used.
Oh holy crap.... I'm terrified.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
A Day in the Life of Us.
Every single day people ask us, "how are you doing?" or "what's going on?" and our answer is always the same. "Busy". And the questioner's inevitable response is, "oh, well that's good, right?" And we're like, "Um, I guess."
It's kind of hard to explain all the in's and out's of what we do everyday. The common misconceptions are:
a. We go hang out with all these high fashion people all day everyday, just laughing and sipping cocktails with them, trading amusing antic dotes, while snapping a photo of them kissing or something cute every once in awhile..... and that's what we call "busy".
b. We sleep 10 hours, do 1 or 2 unknown computer things, go layout by the pool for awhile, then sit around watching daytime television while eating microwaved s'mores and making out during commercials..... and that's what we call "busy".
c. We rush to Starbucks to meet some potential clients and they're like, "we'll pay anything... just please be our photographers!" and we're like, "um, yeah sure, whatev". Then we yell, "next" and the next couple waiting in line comes over and signs our contract while we sigh with boredom, sipping our lattes..... and that's what we call "busy".
OK, so it's definitely NONE of those things. Here's what it is.
Alarm goes off....
It's around 9:30 or 10 (still barely rested because I didn't get to bed until after 2 am the night before). I take a moment to catch my mood for the day.... this is very important because how else would I decide what to wear?! I spend about an hour matching my makeup to the mood- outfit and working out my hair to coordinate based on how many days it's been since I last washed it (gross I know, but I've come to accept it).
I make some coffee and breakfast and my goal every morning is to take that out and read for a bit on my princess porch (which earned it's name as a result of the sheer cream drapes that frame the ledge, the white lights that COVER it, and the candles and shiny things all around). I make sure I light my favorite Volcano No.5 Anthropologie candle, put on the chill playlist on my ipod.... The Cranberries, Shins, Decemberists, Frou Frou, and Rage Against the Machine (you know I'm kidding on the last one). Of course this goal is only actually accomplished about twice a month, but I still live under the illusion every morning that it is going to happen today.
After this I mosey on over to the office that is fully decorated.... so we can feel "creative and inspired in it" (good thing we took our financial class AFTER we freely spent all that money!) The office is complete with Aqua blue and chocolate brown everything, our favorite framed album covers displayed proudly on the walls, and of course.... my underwear- clad husband who is squinting at his computer screen, still too sleepy to fully open his eyes. He's responding to all his emails, none of which he'll remember later because he has complete amnesia until he's been up for at least an hour.... a very strange (and sometimes annoying) phenomenon.
I sit down at my computer for the purpose of pulling up some photos and going to work on them... removing zits, bugs, and aunt Sally's crotch shot.... then adding in soft lighting, textures, and tears to the bride's face (I'm just kidding- I wouldn't add fake tears!). Well process pictures is always my intention. But what usually happens is I sit down- see my to do list- see my packed inbox- see our full calendar and begin having heart palpitations. I then hop up, and start scouring the house for things that are out of place that can be put back into their place in attempt to give me some sort of feeling of control and order, I suppose. New item for my to do list.... "Learn how to deal with stress appropriately and effectively".
My kind husband (who's slowly adjusting to my freak-out routine) allows me to vent, go over our task list for the day, and apologize for freaking out. He then hugs me, says he forgives me, and settles in next to me to get a move on with the emails, returning phone calls, updating the website, etc.... since we lost so much time with that rampage. OK, so this doesn't happen EVERY day. But I hate to admit that it does happen very regularly!
We work for a bit, then warm up a couple hot dogs (quick, cheap, easy, and bad for you) and head off to do some errand for our CARES Team Program. We go grab things like giant green hats at Walmart, 250 Popsicles at Frys, or 100 grass hula skirts at.... well I have no idea where you'd get those from but we'd probably spend hours researching it online and then go there too!
When we arrive back from the complex, there are 10 kids who follow our car in who all start asking at the same time if they can come watch TV in our apartment, if we can play soccer, and if Scottie can fix their bikes. So we spend an hour or so doing at least some of those things, then we make a trip to the front office of our apartment complex for a quick meeting with our manager, and on the way back a slightly stoned neighbor decides it's time to tell us his life story (at stoner pace of course). We love doing all of this and we hate the fact that all the work we have to get done is sitting in the back of our minds trying to suck the joy out of our lives, but that's usually just how it goes for us so we try to ignore it and be happy.
We get back to our computers only to find MORE emails, tax organizing stuff, equipment insurance forms, camera gear research, admin junk, admin junk, and more admin junk, etc., etc., etc. waiting for us. We sigh and attack the pile, only to be interrupted by the internet going down, our drive sharing system cutting out, or some other ridiculous computer problem that should not happen but does (at least 5 times a week too) that results in Scottie spending the next hour or two fixing it. I spend this time playing with my superpoke pet on facebook (because it's MUCH cooler than those virtual pet keychains 9 year olds used to have) and if the computer is really down then I might get to do something actually productive, like read or glue Popsicle sticks to posterboard in preparation for our next CARES Team Kid's Club.
Once the computer gets fixed, we usually call most of our to do list a wash and put it on the calendar for tomorrow. Then we get ready to leave for either our Dave Ramsey financial class, Bible Study, some kind of family event, a meeting with a couple, or a "hot dogs on the go" where we hand out free hot dogs at the mailbox in our apartment complex. There's always something like that to do in the evenings.
After whatever thing it is (hopefully a family event because then we won't get stuck eating hot dogs for both lunch and dinner that day) we will most likely come home around 10 or 11 and then FINALLY settle in to process some pictures (which has been our goal to get to all day) while we watch South Park, Scrubs, Chelsea Lately, or a movie on Netflix Instant Que. And then on special days if we're being "good" (which translates to "healthy and balanced") we might not even work at this time!! We will probably watch 2 episodes of Lost online while eating ice cream and then still go to bed around 2.
Now I feel like Mr. Rogers at the end of the show when he's just spent his day with you (even though it only felt like 30 min.) and he's changing out his infamous sweater for a pimpin' blazer to leave his own house (I don't think he really lives there because he's only there for half an hour a day) singing his goodbye for today song, "I'll be back when the day is new and I'll have more ideas for you and you'll have things you'll want to talk about. I will too."
So folks, that's an average day for us. Now just take into account my work as a receptionist all day on Thursdays and Fridays, bigger events for our CARES Team, church, time with friends, house cleaning, grocery shopping, misc. random thing, misc. random thing.... and we are BUSY! I hope this doesn't sound too much like complaining because we are seriously loving all of it (except for when I'm throwing my temper tantrum in the mornings). I'm not complaining at all, this is totally the kind of life I want. I love the schedule freedom, the variety of things we get to do, that I get PAID for creating art, and that I spend a lot of time with people and with my husband. This is the life. The busy... fantastic life.
It's kind of hard to explain all the in's and out's of what we do everyday. The common misconceptions are:
a. We go hang out with all these high fashion people all day everyday, just laughing and sipping cocktails with them, trading amusing antic dotes, while snapping a photo of them kissing or something cute every once in awhile..... and that's what we call "busy".
b. We sleep 10 hours, do 1 or 2 unknown computer things, go layout by the pool for awhile, then sit around watching daytime television while eating microwaved s'mores and making out during commercials..... and that's what we call "busy".
c. We rush to Starbucks to meet some potential clients and they're like, "we'll pay anything... just please be our photographers!" and we're like, "um, yeah sure, whatev". Then we yell, "next" and the next couple waiting in line comes over and signs our contract while we sigh with boredom, sipping our lattes..... and that's what we call "busy".
OK, so it's definitely NONE of those things. Here's what it is.
Alarm goes off....
It's around 9:30 or 10 (still barely rested because I didn't get to bed until after 2 am the night before). I take a moment to catch my mood for the day.... this is very important because how else would I decide what to wear?! I spend about an hour matching my makeup to the mood- outfit and working out my hair to coordinate based on how many days it's been since I last washed it (gross I know, but I've come to accept it).
I make some coffee and breakfast and my goal every morning is to take that out and read for a bit on my princess porch (which earned it's name as a result of the sheer cream drapes that frame the ledge, the white lights that COVER it, and the candles and shiny things all around). I make sure I light my favorite Volcano No.5 Anthropologie candle, put on the chill playlist on my ipod.... The Cranberries, Shins, Decemberists, Frou Frou, and Rage Against the Machine (you know I'm kidding on the last one). Of course this goal is only actually accomplished about twice a month, but I still live under the illusion every morning that it is going to happen today.
After this I mosey on over to the office that is fully decorated.... so we can feel "creative and inspired in it" (good thing we took our financial class AFTER we freely spent all that money!) The office is complete with Aqua blue and chocolate brown everything, our favorite framed album covers displayed proudly on the walls, and of course.... my underwear- clad husband who is squinting at his computer screen, still too sleepy to fully open his eyes. He's responding to all his emails, none of which he'll remember later because he has complete amnesia until he's been up for at least an hour.... a very strange (and sometimes annoying) phenomenon.
I sit down at my computer for the purpose of pulling up some photos and going to work on them... removing zits, bugs, and aunt Sally's crotch shot.... then adding in soft lighting, textures, and tears to the bride's face (I'm just kidding- I wouldn't add fake tears!). Well process pictures is always my intention. But what usually happens is I sit down- see my to do list- see my packed inbox- see our full calendar and begin having heart palpitations. I then hop up, and start scouring the house for things that are out of place that can be put back into their place in attempt to give me some sort of feeling of control and order, I suppose. New item for my to do list.... "Learn how to deal with stress appropriately and effectively".
My kind husband (who's slowly adjusting to my freak-out routine) allows me to vent, go over our task list for the day, and apologize for freaking out. He then hugs me, says he forgives me, and settles in next to me to get a move on with the emails, returning phone calls, updating the website, etc.... since we lost so much time with that rampage. OK, so this doesn't happen EVERY day. But I hate to admit that it does happen very regularly!
We work for a bit, then warm up a couple hot dogs (quick, cheap, easy, and bad for you) and head off to do some errand for our CARES Team Program. We go grab things like giant green hats at Walmart, 250 Popsicles at Frys, or 100 grass hula skirts at.... well I have no idea where you'd get those from but we'd probably spend hours researching it online and then go there too!
When we arrive back from the complex, there are 10 kids who follow our car in who all start asking at the same time if they can come watch TV in our apartment, if we can play soccer, and if Scottie can fix their bikes. So we spend an hour or so doing at least some of those things, then we make a trip to the front office of our apartment complex for a quick meeting with our manager, and on the way back a slightly stoned neighbor decides it's time to tell us his life story (at stoner pace of course). We love doing all of this and we hate the fact that all the work we have to get done is sitting in the back of our minds trying to suck the joy out of our lives, but that's usually just how it goes for us so we try to ignore it and be happy.
We get back to our computers only to find MORE emails, tax organizing stuff, equipment insurance forms, camera gear research, admin junk, admin junk, and more admin junk, etc., etc., etc. waiting for us. We sigh and attack the pile, only to be interrupted by the internet going down, our drive sharing system cutting out, or some other ridiculous computer problem that should not happen but does (at least 5 times a week too) that results in Scottie spending the next hour or two fixing it. I spend this time playing with my superpoke pet on facebook (because it's MUCH cooler than those virtual pet keychains 9 year olds used to have) and if the computer is really down then I might get to do something actually productive, like read or glue Popsicle sticks to posterboard in preparation for our next CARES Team Kid's Club.
Once the computer gets fixed, we usually call most of our to do list a wash and put it on the calendar for tomorrow. Then we get ready to leave for either our Dave Ramsey financial class, Bible Study, some kind of family event, a meeting with a couple, or a "hot dogs on the go" where we hand out free hot dogs at the mailbox in our apartment complex. There's always something like that to do in the evenings.
After whatever thing it is (hopefully a family event because then we won't get stuck eating hot dogs for both lunch and dinner that day) we will most likely come home around 10 or 11 and then FINALLY settle in to process some pictures (which has been our goal to get to all day) while we watch South Park, Scrubs, Chelsea Lately, or a movie on Netflix Instant Que. And then on special days if we're being "good" (which translates to "healthy and balanced") we might not even work at this time!! We will probably watch 2 episodes of Lost online while eating ice cream and then still go to bed around 2.
Now I feel like Mr. Rogers at the end of the show when he's just spent his day with you (even though it only felt like 30 min.) and he's changing out his infamous sweater for a pimpin' blazer to leave his own house (I don't think he really lives there because he's only there for half an hour a day) singing his goodbye for today song, "I'll be back when the day is new and I'll have more ideas for you and you'll have things you'll want to talk about. I will too."
So folks, that's an average day for us. Now just take into account my work as a receptionist all day on Thursdays and Fridays, bigger events for our CARES Team, church, time with friends, house cleaning, grocery shopping, misc. random thing, misc. random thing.... and we are BUSY! I hope this doesn't sound too much like complaining because we are seriously loving all of it (except for when I'm throwing my temper tantrum in the mornings). I'm not complaining at all, this is totally the kind of life I want. I love the schedule freedom, the variety of things we get to do, that I get PAID for creating art, and that I spend a lot of time with people and with my husband. This is the life. The busy... fantastic life.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Great TV Moments
Typically, I'm not into reality TV shows (mostly because I don't believe they're real). So for one to catch my attention enough to not only watch an entire clip from it, but also to actually blog about it is a big deal. A Facebook friend of mine posted this clip from "Britain's Got Talent" and since I watched it last night, I've seen it everywhere (including on the Today Show this morning). It's just one of those moments that makes you feel all the emotions that TV usually leaves you void of. It's emotional, it's beautiful, it's Susan Boyle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY.
There's also another one from Paul Potts that is similarly astounding.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEo5bjnJViA
So apparently, Britain is actually looking for talent... not just hotness. Paul Potts actually won that season and they've said that no makeover is planned for Susan!!
There's also another one from Paul Potts that is similarly astounding.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEo5bjnJViA
So apparently, Britain is actually looking for talent... not just hotness. Paul Potts actually won that season and they've said that no makeover is planned for Susan!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Revisiting Wendy
I had a friend who once accused me of being Wendy. You know, Wendy from Peter Pan. He said that I chose to grow-up and I left him behind. Really I think that just meant I went out and got busy with sports, clubs, church activities, and such while he sat in his basement strumming his guitar alone. To him, growing-up meant getting busy (and of course submitting to the man and all that stuff).
So recently I decided to re-visit this Wendy concept, only to discover that maybe I am her but if that's true then I'm her right when she was deciding whether or not to stay in Never-Never-land or go back to the real world. That crucial moment of decision.
I realized that was the case when my husband recently accused me of resisting "the change". And of COURSE I don't mean puberty or menopause (sheesh guys, what were you thinking!?)
I'm stuck somewhere between the college stage and the mom stage. I call this area "The Twilight Zone" j/k. I am realizing that I want a clean house, a good future, a healthy being, and good relationships. But I'm also realizing that in order to have all that you have to have at least some level of discipline, structure, money, a job, and all kinds of other things that I want nothing to do with.
I know those who've known me since I was young are like, "what are you talking about?!" you were the most responsible child of all time with a full 401K by the time you were 11! OK, so I'm exaggerating.... I actually don't even really know what 401K means..... I pretend to, but I really honestly don't. It is true though, I was kind of a grown-up even when I was a kid. But I think I had a top off point... like a place where I just stopped growing up but kept physically aging all the same. I did good throughout college, then I got married and I froze. I went from being above everyone my age maturity wise to suddenly feeling slightly behind everyone my age. Weird. I am wondering if it has to do with the fact that I used to only have to be responsible for one semester at a time. I always knew that if I could hold out for a year, I could take a 3 month break from life to lay out and tan all day (Nice, now I can blame all the problems in my life on the school system, right?!).
The thing is that now if I even take a 3 DAY break I fall apart emotionally because I didn't get enough sleep and my messy house is eating my heart. Or I begin to feel faint from surviving on Cheez-its and Top Ramen because I didn't go to the grocery store (either because I slept til noon or because I ran out of money since I took a break from that too!). I can't do it all people! I can't do it all.... even though I only have 2 fully functioning adults to maintain. And are you kidding me.... you all think I should add in kids to this equation!?! And I'm not even going to get into the life lessons I'm working hard to avoid learning....
I finally realized that I think this is just a stage. I think we're slowly getting better and that one day we'll figure it out. Plus everyone says that when you have kids you just DO figure it out. I'm not too sure about that one though. I think our kids will be the ones who stay up until midnight and sleep until 9am (during the summers at least.... come on guys I'm behind but I'm not retarded! I know they need to sleep for school!). It's wierd because I think kids will help this, but I also think they'll make it way harder at the same time. Go figure. I'll let you know when I finally make the full leap out of Never Never Land.
So recently I decided to re-visit this Wendy concept, only to discover that maybe I am her but if that's true then I'm her right when she was deciding whether or not to stay in Never-Never-land or go back to the real world. That crucial moment of decision.
I realized that was the case when my husband recently accused me of resisting "the change". And of COURSE I don't mean puberty or menopause (sheesh guys, what were you thinking!?)
I'm stuck somewhere between the college stage and the mom stage. I call this area "The Twilight Zone" j/k. I am realizing that I want a clean house, a good future, a healthy being, and good relationships. But I'm also realizing that in order to have all that you have to have at least some level of discipline, structure, money, a job, and all kinds of other things that I want nothing to do with.
I know those who've known me since I was young are like, "what are you talking about?!" you were the most responsible child of all time with a full 401K by the time you were 11! OK, so I'm exaggerating.... I actually don't even really know what 401K means..... I pretend to, but I really honestly don't. It is true though, I was kind of a grown-up even when I was a kid. But I think I had a top off point... like a place where I just stopped growing up but kept physically aging all the same. I did good throughout college, then I got married and I froze. I went from being above everyone my age maturity wise to suddenly feeling slightly behind everyone my age. Weird. I am wondering if it has to do with the fact that I used to only have to be responsible for one semester at a time. I always knew that if I could hold out for a year, I could take a 3 month break from life to lay out and tan all day (Nice, now I can blame all the problems in my life on the school system, right?!).
The thing is that now if I even take a 3 DAY break I fall apart emotionally because I didn't get enough sleep and my messy house is eating my heart. Or I begin to feel faint from surviving on Cheez-its and Top Ramen because I didn't go to the grocery store (either because I slept til noon or because I ran out of money since I took a break from that too!). I can't do it all people! I can't do it all.... even though I only have 2 fully functioning adults to maintain. And are you kidding me.... you all think I should add in kids to this equation!?! And I'm not even going to get into the life lessons I'm working hard to avoid learning....
I finally realized that I think this is just a stage. I think we're slowly getting better and that one day we'll figure it out. Plus everyone says that when you have kids you just DO figure it out. I'm not too sure about that one though. I think our kids will be the ones who stay up until midnight and sleep until 9am (during the summers at least.... come on guys I'm behind but I'm not retarded! I know they need to sleep for school!). It's wierd because I think kids will help this, but I also think they'll make it way harder at the same time. Go figure. I'll let you know when I finally make the full leap out of Never Never Land.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A sad day
This has been quite a heavy day for me so far. I just found out that my friend's wife has to have a full masectomy to get rid of her breast cancer (she's in her 30's with 2 very young children) and their insurance is refusing to cover any of it. Then I found out that my friend at work's mother died unexpectedly a couple of days ago. Then I found out that my friend's newborn baby has cancer too! How can someone be born with cancer?! That is just amazing to me.
I'm sure I'll eventually get to that stage where I'm reflecting on my own life and the meaning of all this. But right now, I'm just sad. I'm so sad for all of them... and I'm a little bit more afraid of the "c" word.
I'm sure I'll eventually get to that stage where I'm reflecting on my own life and the meaning of all this. But right now, I'm just sad. I'm so sad for all of them... and I'm a little bit more afraid of the "c" word.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
The 50 Songs that are the most impressive to me.
There is one quirky thing about me that anyone who follows my writing should (and probably already does) know about me.... I LOVE making lists! For some reason I feel this incessant need to constantly measure and weigh the value of multiple things in my life and assign a number to it. Maybe it satisfies some inner urge I have to create order in the chaos of life. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter if I'm listing movies, coffee shops, cutest boys (OK maybe that was in 5th grade), or memories.... regardless of the topic, it gives me an immense feeling of completeness.
There is one list that I am never quite able to finish, and that is my songs list. Every time I begin it, I get so sidetracked by different categories and sub-categories that I can never quite say it's finished. This time, my song list has taken the tune of "The Songs that are the most impressive to me". It started out as my favorite songs of all time but that was so hard it was just never going to end, so it moved to the BEST songs of all time, but that was too intimidating and I didn't feel like enough of a music buff to call myself worthy of such a list (especially considering that my musical knowledge only spans about 30 years) so it eventually became an especially subjective list with the excluding term "impressive" attached to it. So these are not necessarily my favorite songs or the best songs, but they are songs that blow my mind! So here it is....
The 50 Songs that are the most impressive to me....
37. Idoteque- Radiohead
38. Clocks- Coldplay
39. Black- Pearl Jam
40. Hysteria- Muse
41. Cherub Rock- Smashing Pumpkins
42. Electric Blue- The Cranberries
43. The Stone- Dave Matthews Band
44. Simple Man- Lynard Skynard
45. It's Good to Be in Love- Frou Frou
46. Love Hurts- Incubus
47. Baba O'Riley- The Who
48. Nothing Else Matters- Metallica
49. Caught a Light Sneeze- Tori Amos
50. Sunday Bloody Sunday- The Who
P.S. If you want to hear any of these songs just look them up on youtube or some better place that has an unlimited musical selection that I'm not cool enough to know about yet.
There is one list that I am never quite able to finish, and that is my songs list. Every time I begin it, I get so sidetracked by different categories and sub-categories that I can never quite say it's finished. This time, my song list has taken the tune of "The Songs that are the most impressive to me". It started out as my favorite songs of all time but that was so hard it was just never going to end, so it moved to the BEST songs of all time, but that was too intimidating and I didn't feel like enough of a music buff to call myself worthy of such a list (especially considering that my musical knowledge only spans about 30 years) so it eventually became an especially subjective list with the excluding term "impressive" attached to it. So these are not necessarily my favorite songs or the best songs, but they are songs that blow my mind! So here it is....
The 50 Songs that are the most impressive to me....
- Yellow Ledbetter- Pearl Jam
- Viva La Vida- Coldplay
- Free Bird- Lynard Skynard
- With or Without You- U2
- One- Metallica
- Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Paranoid Android- Radiohead
- Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
- Disarm- Smashing Pumpkins
- Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
- Butterflies & Hurricanes- Muse
- The Blowers Daughter- Damien Rice
- Emotional Landscapes- Bjork
- #41- Dave Matthews Band
- Precious Things- Tori Amos
- Stronger- Kanye West
- Numb/Encore- Linkin Park & Jay-Z
- Dig- Incubus
- It's No Good- Depeche Mode
- Only in Dreams- Weezer
- Gran Turismo- The Cardigans
- What I've Done- Linkin Park
- What I've Got- Sublime
- For What It's Worth- Buffalo Springfield
- Brick- Ben Folds Five
- Give it To Me- Timbaland
- Love Reign on Me- The Who
- Samson- Regina Spektor
- Where is My Mind- The Pixies
- Let Go- Frou Frou
- Nothing Better- The Postal Service
- Hey Ya- Outkast
- Oh Jerusalem- Lauryn Hill
- I Will Posess Your Heart- Death Cab for Cutie
- The Sky is Over- System of a Down
- Anna Begins- Counting Crows
37. Idoteque- Radiohead
38. Clocks- Coldplay
39. Black- Pearl Jam
40. Hysteria- Muse
41. Cherub Rock- Smashing Pumpkins
42. Electric Blue- The Cranberries
43. The Stone- Dave Matthews Band
44. Simple Man- Lynard Skynard
45. It's Good to Be in Love- Frou Frou
46. Love Hurts- Incubus
47. Baba O'Riley- The Who
48. Nothing Else Matters- Metallica
49. Caught a Light Sneeze- Tori Amos
50. Sunday Bloody Sunday- The Who
P.S. If you want to hear any of these songs just look them up on youtube or some better place that has an unlimited musical selection that I'm not cool enough to know about yet.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
A Great Valentine's Day
We had the best Valentine's Day this year. Not because of anything particular we did (ever since we started up Radiant we've been so stressed that we didn't want to make the planning a big deal). It just felt really good. Lately I've just been truly trying to appreciate the amazingness of this season in my life. I mean really, I sleep until I'm done, hang out with my husband creating art together, play with the little kids in our complex, watch lost and go to bed together when we feel like it. What more could I want? I feel really happy for the first time in a long time. I don't want this time to pass me by without appreciating it. So that's what our Valentine's Day was really.... a celebration of our current life together and a reflection of all that is really good about us lately.
On Valentine's day we woke up at noon.... that was an accident but I guess that's what happens when you stay up until 4 am! The night before we'd had a one of those momentous, life-changing kind of conversations that made us feel so much more connected and understood by each other. So we woke up with that peaceful, chill feeling of resolution and then we moved on to our fancy breakfast making! We made these beautiful little lemon blueberry scones with honey-fruit-granola stuff, and of course we had bacon for my bacon boy who needs his protein. But it was surprisingly so fun! You have to understand that we still eat like we're in college.... we have some weird cooking complexes.... so it was so cool that we actually enjoyed ourselves. We listened to a few records while we finished our 2pm breakfast and then we moved onto our project for the day.... candy grams for our apartment complex!
For our CARES Team Valentine's Project we advertised that residents could send little cards with a personal message attached to a bag of candy to anyone in the complex they wanted and we would hand deliver them on Valentine's Day. That's the kind of activity that you never quite know how it will go over (it doesn't involve a free meal after all), but it really worked! And it was so fun to see the different people that sent them to each other with their cute little messages. Mommies to sons, men to their baby mamas, and Steve to Nick (with love) whoa! Seriously though, the relationships in our complex tend to be very volatile and negative, so it was a huge encouragement for me to see them saying some positive things to one another.
I have to pause here to tell you just how much I REALLY love Valentine's Day. I've always loved Valentine's Day whether I was coupled up or not. I never really got why people have to get so angry and feel sorry for themselves on Valentine's Day, because I know most of them have someone in their lives they can show love to. It's this awesome day that is designed just to remind you to be loving.... how can that be bad? It doesn't have to be romantic and the whole point of the day is to make someone else feel good, not to be consumed with self-pity. I mean really, how can you hate a day full of soft tiny teddy bears tentatively holding hearts out in hopes they will be accepted by someone and candy hearts that say "fax me!"? But I digress....
I really do love the day and it was so cool to feel like we got to be a part of the important side of Valentine's day and to help people express their love creatively. We got to go around handing out bags of candy to little kids who were absolutely thrilled that someone came to the door and asked for them by name (They felt so important!) Some of my favorites were the non-romantic, neighbor to neighbor ones. There was one from one little kid to another saying "I've missed you at the park" and it had a little drawing of who knows what to accompany it. My favorite one by far though was the one from the semi-absent father (who didn't live here) that was just a note to let his "girls" know he was there for them even though he couldn't live with them and that he missed them and was always there for them whenever they needed anything. I gave that one extra candy. ;-)
After the candy gram part of our day came the "we're so lame" part. Ever since we started up Radiant, holidays have just blown by us and we hardly glance up at them. This is sad to me because holidays are very important to me and now that our getting started hump is over, we'll be getting back into normal life things.... but Valentine's Day still got the shaft from us. We were so busy that neither one of us got the other one a present. So we just decided to buy ourselves a new coffee maker instead of individual gifts. But since I do love the pink goop of Valentine cheesiness, we decided to get each other lame Valentine's Day gifts. The worst part though is that we actually spent part of our Valentine's Day at separate stores shopping for each other. I felt pathetic.
After the gift purchase and exchanging (straight from the Target bag) we relaxed for a bit and then went to see the movie "Coraline" in 3D (watch the preview if you haven't heard of it). I've been waiting for this movie for months so it was a nice touch to our comfy Valentine's Day.
So really, the entire day I was just happy. Happy with my life, with my husband, and with the day. It was good.
Here's the best photo sequence of the day (we spent a little time hanging out with kids in passing)....
On Valentine's day we woke up at noon.... that was an accident but I guess that's what happens when you stay up until 4 am! The night before we'd had a one of those momentous, life-changing kind of conversations that made us feel so much more connected and understood by each other. So we woke up with that peaceful, chill feeling of resolution and then we moved on to our fancy breakfast making! We made these beautiful little lemon blueberry scones with honey-fruit-granola stuff, and of course we had bacon for my bacon boy who needs his protein. But it was surprisingly so fun! You have to understand that we still eat like we're in college.... we have some weird cooking complexes.... so it was so cool that we actually enjoyed ourselves. We listened to a few records while we finished our 2pm breakfast and then we moved onto our project for the day.... candy grams for our apartment complex!
For our CARES Team Valentine's Project we advertised that residents could send little cards with a personal message attached to a bag of candy to anyone in the complex they wanted and we would hand deliver them on Valentine's Day. That's the kind of activity that you never quite know how it will go over (it doesn't involve a free meal after all), but it really worked! And it was so fun to see the different people that sent them to each other with their cute little messages. Mommies to sons, men to their baby mamas, and Steve to Nick (with love) whoa! Seriously though, the relationships in our complex tend to be very volatile and negative, so it was a huge encouragement for me to see them saying some positive things to one another.
I have to pause here to tell you just how much I REALLY love Valentine's Day. I've always loved Valentine's Day whether I was coupled up or not. I never really got why people have to get so angry and feel sorry for themselves on Valentine's Day, because I know most of them have someone in their lives they can show love to. It's this awesome day that is designed just to remind you to be loving.... how can that be bad? It doesn't have to be romantic and the whole point of the day is to make someone else feel good, not to be consumed with self-pity. I mean really, how can you hate a day full of soft tiny teddy bears tentatively holding hearts out in hopes they will be accepted by someone and candy hearts that say "fax me!"? But I digress....
I really do love the day and it was so cool to feel like we got to be a part of the important side of Valentine's day and to help people express their love creatively. We got to go around handing out bags of candy to little kids who were absolutely thrilled that someone came to the door and asked for them by name (They felt so important!) Some of my favorites were the non-romantic, neighbor to neighbor ones. There was one from one little kid to another saying "I've missed you at the park" and it had a little drawing of who knows what to accompany it. My favorite one by far though was the one from the semi-absent father (who didn't live here) that was just a note to let his "girls" know he was there for them even though he couldn't live with them and that he missed them and was always there for them whenever they needed anything. I gave that one extra candy. ;-)
After the candy gram part of our day came the "we're so lame" part. Ever since we started up Radiant, holidays have just blown by us and we hardly glance up at them. This is sad to me because holidays are very important to me and now that our getting started hump is over, we'll be getting back into normal life things.... but Valentine's Day still got the shaft from us. We were so busy that neither one of us got the other one a present. So we just decided to buy ourselves a new coffee maker instead of individual gifts. But since I do love the pink goop of Valentine cheesiness, we decided to get each other lame Valentine's Day gifts. The worst part though is that we actually spent part of our Valentine's Day at separate stores shopping for each other. I felt pathetic.
After the gift purchase and exchanging (straight from the Target bag) we relaxed for a bit and then went to see the movie "Coraline" in 3D (watch the preview if you haven't heard of it). I've been waiting for this movie for months so it was a nice touch to our comfy Valentine's Day.
So really, the entire day I was just happy. Happy with my life, with my husband, and with the day. It was good.
Here's the best photo sequence of the day (we spent a little time hanging out with kids in passing)....
Friday, January 30, 2009
The point of "I'm Sorry"
I am so sick of saying I’m sorry. Of course, they are always well-deserved I’m sorry’s, but I’m tired of doing things that warrant me saying it! It is beginning to feel like everytime I turn around I owe my husband an apology..... “Scottie, I’m sorry I screamed at you in front of all those people in the middle of the store”, “I’m sorry I threw all your clothes out the window”, “I’m sorry I tried to kill your dog”. Okay, okay, I’m totally kidding, those aren’t the kind of I’m sorry’s I have to say....at least not usually. And Scottie doesn’t even have a dog. The kind of things I have to say on a daily basis are more like, “I’m sorry I just freaked out on you for no apparent reason”, “I’m sorry I used that harsh tone of voice”, “I’m sorry I blamed you for something you didn’t even do”, “I’m sorry I don’t give enough grace to you”, etc., etc.
The worst part about it is that people always seem to get meaner as they age! I don’t get that because you’re supposed to get wiser and if you believe what the Bible says about getting more sanctified (which means that God is constantly improving the condition of your heart and therefore your actions should gradually improve)... then people should get better as they age... right? I mean, I realize that as time goes on the world around us takes it’s toll. I know that I’m definitely meaner, angrier, and more bitter than I was when I was 15. But still; if we are just destined to get worse and worse, is it even worth trying? It’s just like getting facelifts and all that... gravity will still take you down eventually, so why bother?
I guess there always are those people who get totally transformed somewhere in their early 40’s. You know the ones, they used to be in and out of jail.... constantly fighting and causing drama in their families and then one day they have their own kids and just calm down. However, with many of these types I don’t necessarily see the calming down as a good thing... it usually seems like it just means they’ve given up and resigned having any kind of passion or excitement in life. They just settle in for the hum-drum of the American dream. Are they really any better off just because they’re “good” now. So they got “better” the way their parents wanted them to, at least their parents don’t have to worry about their safety any more... but just because there is no visible turmoil, does that mean they are better, more productive, more loving, beings with true joy and intimate relationships? Usually not.
So even with all this said, I am not going to give up the fight to end the need for the apologies. Even if it's true that people are getting worse with time, I figure that all the people who fought their whole lives to constantly improve themselves, may end up to be about ½ as mean and obnoxious when they're old as they would've been if they didn't try to fight their natural tendancies when they were young! Maybe they are still better in the end for the work they put into their personal growth.
So my conclusion is that I will continue to work on fighting the urges that require me to follow them with “I’m sorrys”. If nothing else, at least for the reason that if I continue to fight my meanness and Scottie continues to grow more crotchity with age (as most seem to do) then at at least there's a chance that we might even-out one day! So when I'm old I will have improved, but my age will simultaneously make me digress so overall I will stabilize to be in the same place I am now... all the while he might be growing worse all along so that by then he will just deserve all the things I’m doing to him now and I will no longer have to apologize for it!! How’s that for logic!! :-)
The worst part about it is that people always seem to get meaner as they age! I don’t get that because you’re supposed to get wiser and if you believe what the Bible says about getting more sanctified (which means that God is constantly improving the condition of your heart and therefore your actions should gradually improve)... then people should get better as they age... right? I mean, I realize that as time goes on the world around us takes it’s toll. I know that I’m definitely meaner, angrier, and more bitter than I was when I was 15. But still; if we are just destined to get worse and worse, is it even worth trying? It’s just like getting facelifts and all that... gravity will still take you down eventually, so why bother?
I guess there always are those people who get totally transformed somewhere in their early 40’s. You know the ones, they used to be in and out of jail.... constantly fighting and causing drama in their families and then one day they have their own kids and just calm down. However, with many of these types I don’t necessarily see the calming down as a good thing... it usually seems like it just means they’ve given up and resigned having any kind of passion or excitement in life. They just settle in for the hum-drum of the American dream. Are they really any better off just because they’re “good” now. So they got “better” the way their parents wanted them to, at least their parents don’t have to worry about their safety any more... but just because there is no visible turmoil, does that mean they are better, more productive, more loving, beings with true joy and intimate relationships? Usually not.
So even with all this said, I am not going to give up the fight to end the need for the apologies. Even if it's true that people are getting worse with time, I figure that all the people who fought their whole lives to constantly improve themselves, may end up to be about ½ as mean and obnoxious when they're old as they would've been if they didn't try to fight their natural tendancies when they were young! Maybe they are still better in the end for the work they put into their personal growth.
So my conclusion is that I will continue to work on fighting the urges that require me to follow them with “I’m sorrys”. If nothing else, at least for the reason that if I continue to fight my meanness and Scottie continues to grow more crotchity with age (as most seem to do) then at at least there's a chance that we might even-out one day! So when I'm old I will have improved, but my age will simultaneously make me digress so overall I will stabilize to be in the same place I am now... all the while he might be growing worse all along so that by then he will just deserve all the things I’m doing to him now and I will no longer have to apologize for it!! How’s that for logic!! :-)
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
My thanks, my life, my blogs, my Hilary Duff side, etc., etc.
Well, well, well, looks like there are more of you sneaky lurkers out there than I thought. I love you silent types. You just go from blog to blog, gleaning information until you are a super genius, and all the while no one even knows you're around. Then every once in awhile you are the ones who decide to show your learned faces to us writers, making us feel so important because we find out that, yes, there are people reading the words we thought we were just throwing out into space for all eternity. Now I know there are real people reading my thoughts, and I thank you.
I found this out because my super spy, google analytics, told me that a bunch of you went to our photography website through this blog. Oh man, you guys make me feel so special! I'm not sure if it's like a car accident that you just can't look away from, or if it's because you actually care about the projects and tid bits going on in my life.... either way, it really does make me feel like you all love me. :-) I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker, or gossip girl, or Hilary Duff in that one movie, or Doogie Howser (if there was Internet then).... either way, I get to do what I love and write my observations about life, and people read them! Now I just need to either get a pair of Manolos or a lab coat made for a 14 yr old and I'm set.
Since you are such loyal followers of my life, I want to commit to you right now to not allow this blog to be taken over by boring business stuff. It is hard because right now I am completely single minded and that IS all that my life is right now. I'm not committing to not mention it or discuss it or even slip in a subliminal message advertisement once in awhile.... I'm just promising you this blog will have other stuff on it too! I'm also trying to not let stories about wild children take over as well (even though that is the only other thing really going on in my life) because I know most of the time they're probably "had to be there" stories anyways.
I do want you to know that I now have another blog that I share with my wonderful husband. YES, it does HAPPEN to be connected to our business website, but so what?! We've decided to make it a fun one that lets our customers feel like they get to know the real us! So now, if I disappear here for a length of time, you can know that I'm probably hanging out over there. I mean why wouldn't I? That one sort of pays me to be there. I do this crap for free here! Anyways, you can look at it by going to www.radiantphotographyaz.com and going to the "Radiant Life" (new blog name) page. Ha ha, you thought I was going to give you a direct link to the blog, huh! Not so, sucka.... you have to go through our pictures to get there. How's that for sneaky advertising! This blog will still be more fun, because you know... I have to be somewhat professional over there. This is the place where you will get to hear the dirt about all the bridezillas I battle and all the cake toppers I rescue from impending doom. J/K, I will do my best to not gossip about poor girls who are stressed to the brim with all kinds of pressure building on them. Unless they're really mean to me....
I found this out because my super spy, google analytics, told me that a bunch of you went to our photography website through this blog. Oh man, you guys make me feel so special! I'm not sure if it's like a car accident that you just can't look away from, or if it's because you actually care about the projects and tid bits going on in my life.... either way, it really does make me feel like you all love me. :-) I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker, or gossip girl, or Hilary Duff in that one movie, or Doogie Howser (if there was Internet then).... either way, I get to do what I love and write my observations about life, and people read them! Now I just need to either get a pair of Manolos or a lab coat made for a 14 yr old and I'm set.
Since you are such loyal followers of my life, I want to commit to you right now to not allow this blog to be taken over by boring business stuff. It is hard because right now I am completely single minded and that IS all that my life is right now. I'm not committing to not mention it or discuss it or even slip in a subliminal message advertisement once in awhile.... I'm just promising you this blog will have other stuff on it too! I'm also trying to not let stories about wild children take over as well (even though that is the only other thing really going on in my life) because I know most of the time they're probably "had to be there" stories anyways.
I do want you to know that I now have another blog that I share with my wonderful husband. YES, it does HAPPEN to be connected to our business website, but so what?! We've decided to make it a fun one that lets our customers feel like they get to know the real us! So now, if I disappear here for a length of time, you can know that I'm probably hanging out over there. I mean why wouldn't I? That one sort of pays me to be there. I do this crap for free here! Anyways, you can look at it by going to www.radiantphotographyaz.com and going to the "Radiant Life" (new blog name) page. Ha ha, you thought I was going to give you a direct link to the blog, huh! Not so, sucka.... you have to go through our pictures to get there. How's that for sneaky advertising! This blog will still be more fun, because you know... I have to be somewhat professional over there. This is the place where you will get to hear the dirt about all the bridezillas I battle and all the cake toppers I rescue from impending doom. J/K, I will do my best to not gossip about poor girls who are stressed to the brim with all kinds of pressure building on them. Unless they're really mean to me....
Monday, December 15, 2008
Finally, actually, all the way.... finished!
OK so our new website is finally done........... um....... NOW!
Sorry for those of you who caught the "preview" before it was finished, I made my post about it a little prematurely! If you saw it before... you should see it now!
Sorry for those of you who caught the "preview" before it was finished, I made my post about it a little prematurely! If you saw it before... you should see it now!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Big Biz news + some fun stuff
Alright, I know it's been awhile since I've written. That's because I've been writing CONSTANTLY for the last few weeks! But for.... another blog (gasp!)!! Not only that, I had 2 fifteen page papers due within a couple of weeks of each other. But even with all that, most of my writing skillz have been used for our new business endeavor. And along with that, I should tell you that our business endeavor is not even what you think it is (things change quickly in my world, I guess).
I know, I know, I announced we are going to now be called "Reflect Photographers". But alas, we decided to change the name we had just acquired! So now, for real, for real, we are going to be called Radiant Photography. We had about 2 days to completely design a website, facebook page, business cards, pricing sheets, and so much more! I think we are almost done (and I'm at least done with all the writing stuff. Seriously this involved staying up until 2, 4, or 6am on a regular basis (notice its 12 am as I speak) . I'm so sleep deprived, I'm not even sure if I'm speaking English. So, you know, just a casual hint, that maybe... you know.... if you feel like it. You might want to... I don't know.... go appreciate my hard work (notice the links!)!!
Umm.... let me think of something to tell you that's not related to business (hard since that's been our obsession lately).... Okay, I've got one....
On election day, a little 5 year old in our complex (keep in mind, he probably doesn't even know how to spell his own name) came up to Scottie and said, "Hey Scottie! Do you know who's gonna be the next President? I do! It's gonna be Rock Obama!" Scottie asked if that was who he voted for at school and received an automatic affirmative reply. Scottie told him that he voted for John McCain and the kid said, "I knowsed you did". Scottie (trying to stifle a laugh) asked how he knew. The kid replied, "cause you're white! The news said that white people voted for John McCain and black people voted for Rock Obama!" And they continued their political conversation about the candidates various positions, until the kid decided it was time for them to play the Disney Sorry game.
So funny.
I know, I know, I announced we are going to now be called "Reflect Photographers". But alas, we decided to change the name we had just acquired! So now, for real, for real, we are going to be called Radiant Photography. We had about 2 days to completely design a website, facebook page, business cards, pricing sheets, and so much more! I think we are almost done (and I'm at least done with all the writing stuff. Seriously this involved staying up until 2, 4, or 6am on a regular basis (notice its 12 am as I speak) . I'm so sleep deprived, I'm not even sure if I'm speaking English. So, you know, just a casual hint, that maybe... you know.... if you feel like it. You might want to... I don't know.... go appreciate my hard work (notice the links!)!!
Umm.... let me think of something to tell you that's not related to business (hard since that's been our obsession lately).... Okay, I've got one....
On election day, a little 5 year old in our complex (keep in mind, he probably doesn't even know how to spell his own name) came up to Scottie and said, "Hey Scottie! Do you know who's gonna be the next President? I do! It's gonna be Rock Obama!" Scottie asked if that was who he voted for at school and received an automatic affirmative reply. Scottie told him that he voted for John McCain and the kid said, "I knowsed you did". Scottie (trying to stifle a laugh) asked how he knew. The kid replied, "cause you're white! The news said that white people voted for John McCain and black people voted for Rock Obama!" And they continued their political conversation about the candidates various positions, until the kid decided it was time for them to play the Disney Sorry game.
So funny.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
"Bad News! Emergency!"
On Tuesday morning (OK it was afternoon, but still morning for me) we heard someone banging, literally banging, on our door while holding down the doorbell at the same time. Scottie calmly went to answer it, since this crazy attempt to get our attention is an everyday occurrence due to the common occurance of having visitors under the age of 8. Standing there is a 6 year old boy that we know well. He just looks up (way up) at Scottie and yells, “Bad news! Emergency!” When Scottie sought more information from the panicky child, he said, “Billy is trying to beat up Travis!” I still can’t help but laugh at the wide-eyed child stuttering out, “Bad news! Emergency!” The way he said it made me think we were being attacked by terrorists or something. Later accounts of this trauma as reported by the children included the part of the story where, “Jared ran up to Scottie and Breanna’s because of the ‘emergency’.” It was pretty funny.
Scottie went down to see what was going on and when I went down half an hour later, I saw Scottie by the playground with about 10 kids sitting around him in a circle talking. I have to admit, it was pretty cute to see this giant tough guy sitting on their level, trying to help them resolve the most important issue in their young lives. By the time I got there, it had already been decided that it was a misunderstanding because Billy thought Travis wrecked his sand castle (made up not beautiful beach sand, but rather of broken beer bottle and cat poop sand) but really it had been a different Travis that had done it. We spent the next hour listening to various accounts of the story (including a 4 year old girl's version that included the question, "can you play?" in the middle of every other sentence) and I do mean VARIOUS because of course they were all completely different stories. In one story, Billy was chasing Travis with a giant stake in his hand to stab him, in another Travis was beating up Billy's 4 year old sister, and other versions included a slew of middle fingers being thrown this way and that by all kinds of people around. And to think, I've been showing them Veggie Tales Movies about telling the truth!!
For the sake of peace, time, and our sanity, we decided not to go about figuring out the truth, but rather to focus on how we should handle anger and how we should treat people. Using examples of how Scottie and I fight sometimes turned out to be unproductive because that just instigated a bunch of stories about the domestic violence that goes on in their homes, with each story being meant to one up the last. Our attempt at getting them to sit down and participate for a full 5 minutes straight also failed, mostly due to well the fact that they are kids with short attention spans, but also to the "pouter" kid who quits everything that doesn't go his way. Since he was a key player, we had to draw him back in every 2 seconds and convince him that everyone wasn't against him, but that we had listened to his side as well. All in all it was a very frustrating experience for all involved (most of all for myself), but I think it was still the best thing we could have done for the situation.
After all agreed that we should NOT hit people and that we should walk away when we are angry (since fighting only results in Scottie and Breanna making them do "boring" things like sitting around talking for an hour) we finally decided to conclude our anger management training session. Feeling the wrath of all the children upon me for being the mean grown up who disciplined them, I immediately shouted, "who wants Popsicles?!" And then the wrath switched from their eyes to Scottie's because he had just cleaned the playground equipment. :-)
We spent the next couple of hours playing with them to prove that we were still cool enough to hang out with them and that time only built my frustration more and more. They spent the entire time going through one stupid, mean fight after another!! They fought like 10 times more than I've ever seen them fight! One time they were fighting over a tiny piece of a balloon, like a regular balloon that had popped. Seriously screaming and yelling over that. Are you kidding me?! After that they were rolling around in the grass trying to kick each other because the 8 year old wouldn't share(old enough to have that simple skill down), that resulted in a kid getting kicked in the back (hard), and tears. The kid was looking at me straight in the eye crying and I felt absolutely no compassion for him because I was so at my limit! Oh yeah and lets not forget the "pouter" who deemed everything "stupid and boring" as soon as he only 1/2 way didn't get what he wanted and then would go to the corner to pout (leading other kids to do the same).
That night Scottie and I re-capped the situation and it turns out he actually felt encouraged by it all. He said he thought we made a huge difference, where I just felt overwhelmed by the enormity of what we were dealing with. How do you tell a kid who watches his parents kick through walls, break glass on their spouse, get arrested for aggressive behavior, etc., etc. to control their anger?! Scottie eventually convinced me that we had done a huge thing for them that day simply because he said, "no one has ever done that for them and that alone is enough to make it matter significantly to them". And I suppose he's right. After all, this was the biggest "bad news-emergency" they'd had in a long time and it had to have made them feel valued that we treated it with as much importance as they felt it deserved. I only hope so, cause otherwise I don't know how many more times I can pull one kid off of another!
Scottie went down to see what was going on and when I went down half an hour later, I saw Scottie by the playground with about 10 kids sitting around him in a circle talking. I have to admit, it was pretty cute to see this giant tough guy sitting on their level, trying to help them resolve the most important issue in their young lives. By the time I got there, it had already been decided that it was a misunderstanding because Billy thought Travis wrecked his sand castle (made up not beautiful beach sand, but rather of broken beer bottle and cat poop sand) but really it had been a different Travis that had done it. We spent the next hour listening to various accounts of the story (including a 4 year old girl's version that included the question, "can you play?" in the middle of every other sentence) and I do mean VARIOUS because of course they were all completely different stories. In one story, Billy was chasing Travis with a giant stake in his hand to stab him, in another Travis was beating up Billy's 4 year old sister, and other versions included a slew of middle fingers being thrown this way and that by all kinds of people around. And to think, I've been showing them Veggie Tales Movies about telling the truth!!
For the sake of peace, time, and our sanity, we decided not to go about figuring out the truth, but rather to focus on how we should handle anger and how we should treat people. Using examples of how Scottie and I fight sometimes turned out to be unproductive because that just instigated a bunch of stories about the domestic violence that goes on in their homes, with each story being meant to one up the last. Our attempt at getting them to sit down and participate for a full 5 minutes straight also failed, mostly due to well the fact that they are kids with short attention spans, but also to the "pouter" kid who quits everything that doesn't go his way. Since he was a key player, we had to draw him back in every 2 seconds and convince him that everyone wasn't against him, but that we had listened to his side as well. All in all it was a very frustrating experience for all involved (most of all for myself), but I think it was still the best thing we could have done for the situation.
After all agreed that we should NOT hit people and that we should walk away when we are angry (since fighting only results in Scottie and Breanna making them do "boring" things like sitting around talking for an hour) we finally decided to conclude our anger management training session. Feeling the wrath of all the children upon me for being the mean grown up who disciplined them, I immediately shouted, "who wants Popsicles?!" And then the wrath switched from their eyes to Scottie's because he had just cleaned the playground equipment. :-)
We spent the next couple of hours playing with them to prove that we were still cool enough to hang out with them and that time only built my frustration more and more. They spent the entire time going through one stupid, mean fight after another!! They fought like 10 times more than I've ever seen them fight! One time they were fighting over a tiny piece of a balloon, like a regular balloon that had popped. Seriously screaming and yelling over that. Are you kidding me?! After that they were rolling around in the grass trying to kick each other because the 8 year old wouldn't share(old enough to have that simple skill down), that resulted in a kid getting kicked in the back (hard), and tears. The kid was looking at me straight in the eye crying and I felt absolutely no compassion for him because I was so at my limit! Oh yeah and lets not forget the "pouter" who deemed everything "stupid and boring" as soon as he only 1/2 way didn't get what he wanted and then would go to the corner to pout (leading other kids to do the same).
That night Scottie and I re-capped the situation and it turns out he actually felt encouraged by it all. He said he thought we made a huge difference, where I just felt overwhelmed by the enormity of what we were dealing with. How do you tell a kid who watches his parents kick through walls, break glass on their spouse, get arrested for aggressive behavior, etc., etc. to control their anger?! Scottie eventually convinced me that we had done a huge thing for them that day simply because he said, "no one has ever done that for them and that alone is enough to make it matter significantly to them". And I suppose he's right. After all, this was the biggest "bad news-emergency" they'd had in a long time and it had to have made them feel valued that we treated it with as much importance as they felt it deserved. I only hope so, cause otherwise I don't know how many more times I can pull one kid off of another!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Adventures of Lil' B
"All grown-ups were children first.
(But few remember it)".
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince) ~
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince) ~
Since I don’t think there is anyone reading this blog who has known me since I was a child (if there is, you’re a lurker!), I thought I’d fill you in on what you missed out on in knowing little Breanna. I say this, because I love little Breanna and I still feel a deep connection to her that I try to maintain throughout my grown up years because I feel like she is one of the most valuable parts to me. So let me introduce you... and for the sake of carpal tunnel syndrome, we’ll shorten her name to “Lil’ B”.....
To start with, Lil' B has long, light brown, wavy hair that goes to her butt (but she's young so its not all scraggly looking yet). She has lots of baby fat and tiny baby teeth (her grown up horse teeth haven't come in yet). Lil' B only tolerates the real world long enough to squeeze in her pretend world (let the psychoanalyzing begin!). She doesn't walk because she'd rather tap dance; she doesn't talk because singing is so much more graceful; and she doesn't go by her real name because "Charity Rose" is better.
Lil' B (aka Charity Rose) spends her days showing off her ballerina moves (totally made up), singing skills (she thinks she knows how to do vibrato by shaking her voice), and handstands (that only make it half way up) to the video camera while her mom films. Between pouts (because her mom insists on announcing her entrance the wrong way), Lil' B. flounces around in front of the camera in her leotard and whatever shiny accessories she found in the dress up closet that particular day, whether it be a pink feather boa, a princess crown, a tutu, or ruby slippers her mom made (shoes covered with shiny red cloth because that was before the Target empire picked them up).
When she is not being the center of the universe (pause to psychoanalyze again) Lil' B is playing with her cousins, Jeffrey and Bethany and allowing her little brother, Ross, to tag along if he does everything she says and doesn't ruin her plans. Their favorite games to play are: restaurant, house (Ross is always the dog), and who can forget "Amy Grant- Ariel-Mermaid" in which Lil' B is the REAL Amy Grant Ariel Mermaid and Bethany is her identical twin (poor Bethany always had to give in to bossy Lil' B). They often ride their bikes around the coldasac (Lil' B in complete costume of bathing suit, tights, a huge jacket, and jellies), jump on the trampoline until time for bed (or until someone starts bleeding- which ever happens first), or break from swimming to watch a dorky Christian movie while eating PB&J.
Lil' B has all kinds of hopes and dreams. Her ultimate goal in life is to be "a pretty and cool teenager who hangs out at the mall with her boyfriend" (direct quote from her diary at age 7). Beyond that, she hopes to be either a famous singer or pet groomer (you know, which ever one works out). These goals change whenever she reads a book or sees a good movie, in which case she wants to be whatever profession is highlighted by the characters; everything from a social worker to an interior decorator (impressionable you think?!).
On the rare occasion that Lil' B does live in the real world rather than in her own imagination, she spends her time helping her mom take care of her baby brother and picking once a month service projects that her mom helps her choose. Lil' B is often very worried about the people who don't love God and people who are sad and hurting in the world and her mom spends a lot of time teaching her how to help and care for these people. Lil' B is happy to do this because she knows it makes Jesus and those people happy and that makes her happy. She is very careful to always follow the rules so that she doesn't make Jesus sad (and because she is scared to death of getting into trouble!). In school she gets put next to the boy who always gets other kids into trouble by talking to them because her teacher knows she will go so far to follow the rules as to ignore him completely while he continues to talk to her. But that's OK because he is still her friend and she does not get into trouble. And as long as she doesn't get into trouble, she can still go over to her friend's after school to put makeup on each other. This activity makes Lil' B's mom worry because Lil' B always chooses the very intense teal eyeshadow to layer on solid from her eyelashes all the way up to her eyebrows and she insists on hot pink lipstick to go with it and that's alot even for the '80's (needless to say, her kind mother does not allow her out in public after playing makeup). I'm sure it scared her dad quite a bit too, but he was reassured that she was still his little girl because she still wanted to hold his hand when driving and play footsies with him under the table just to make sure that he was still near her.
So now maybe you can see why Lil' B is still important to me and why I try to remember her often. She is full of things that I never want to forget about myself.
Pictures of Lil' B
The only picture with an actual Halloween costume, is the picture of Dorothy at the top, the rest were just every day attire!
The only picture with an actual Halloween costume, is the picture of Dorothy at the top, the rest were just every day attire!
I bought dresses based on how much they would twirl when I spun around and by how puffy the sleeves were. You can't tell but this one had the best puffy sleeves!
Aren't those earrings beautiful?! (Maybe that's what he's laughing at).
Yep, just another normal day at our house!
I specifically remember my mom telling me this "outfit" was too small to wear anymore. I specifically remember not believing her. Thanks for trying mom.
If you had a leotard with a bear in a tutu when you were little, you would've worn it every day too!
"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him.
If you tell grown-ups, "I saw a beautiful red brick house, with geraniums at the windows and doves on the roof...," they won't be able to imagine such a house. You have to tell them, "I saw a house worth a hundred thousand francs." Then they exclaim, "What a pretty house!"
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince)~
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Children of the Corn... I mean, of our apartment complex
I think we have officially figured out what our niche will be in our apartment life ministry. And that is with the kids. Yes, those wild and crazy, unruly kids. They range in ages 3-9 and they rule our complex. I think people are actually afraid of them! They have a grand 'ole time. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy breaking windows; plugging up the Jacuzzis with rocks; having yard sales with the things you found in the trash (unfortunately for them, their clientele figured out the origin of these "treasures" pretty quickly because they had the sale directly in front of the dumpster); and climbing to the very tippy top of the three story high pointy, slippery roof above the jungle gym. Now add to that, going over to Scottie and Breanna's every 20 minutes and banging on the door until they answer (because you just know they're home and they probably can't hear you) so that you can use their "internet" (they think Microsoft Word is the internet). Sounds like the life to me!
Well needless to say, we totally love these kids. We love walking out our door and seeing a kid in a tree pointing a water gun at us and hearing his very stern voice yell, "freeze motherf***er!" followed by the immediate begging and pleading that comes with the apology of a terrified child who just realized they accidentally allowed a grown up witnessed their wrong doing. Btw: This is the same 8 year old who asked my mom a few weeks later, "what's church"? (Of course she explained that it is a place you go with Scottie and Breanna before you go to McDonald's).
These kids are just real and themselves, and we love it. Now for the part that I am excited about.... Here are 6 specific goals we have for these kids in the near future:
Well needless to say, we totally love these kids. We love walking out our door and seeing a kid in a tree pointing a water gun at us and hearing his very stern voice yell, "freeze motherf***er!" followed by the immediate begging and pleading that comes with the apology of a terrified child who just realized they accidentally allowed a grown up witnessed their wrong doing. Btw: This is the same 8 year old who asked my mom a few weeks later, "what's church"? (Of course she explained that it is a place you go with Scottie and Breanna before you go to McDonald's).
These kids are just real and themselves, and we love it. Now for the part that I am excited about.... Here are 6 specific goals we have for these kids in the near future:
- Take as many of them to church as often as we can (McDonald's included when the tooth fairy's feeling extra generous- j/k we'll sponsor one trip per kid).
- Arrange a rewards system for them. Something like a star chart or possible where they can earn "beans" (Nanny 911 tip) in order to accumulate enough for a reward (like a camp out night or buying nick knacks in a store). This rewards system will also function for good Sunday school behavior. i.e. 1 star= McDonald's, 3 stars= Happy Meal!! (We have to start low because we'll just be excited if they get out of the negatives).
- Work on a "Character Counts" kid's club. This will be using the public school's curriculum for this program. Each month we will gather to do fun activities all centering around a particular character trait using the acronym TRRFCC (Terrific): Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Citizenship, Caring). (yeah I think that acronym is a bit of a stretch too- no way does that spell "terrific"- but whatever, it works).
- Spend time with the main troublemakers (the older kids) discussing leadership and the responsibilities that come with it (I'm so grateful to Spiderman's uncle for stressing this point- makes for a useful teaching tool). Then teaching them to use their natural leadership to create positive change in the world by working on traits that strengthen this positive leadership.
- This one is my favorite. My husband had the great idea to work together with the maintenance crew to find easy jobs around the complex that he and the kids can do together (i.e. patch all the holes the kids have kicked in the walls). This isn't a form of punishment, rather it will be a time to make the kids feel special because they get to spend time with Scottie (they totally crave positive male attention) and they will get to feel proud of the things they do around the community, as well as seeing how much work goes into keeping it nice so they will hopefully think twice about destroying it. Plus, Scottie can reinforce all the things we talk about in the "character counts kid's club" while doing these activities.
- And then of course, we want to just love on them. Just spend time with them, let them on the "internet", let them throw water balloons at each other off our balcony (I can't blame them, it works so much better from the 3rd story than from ground level!), do art projects with them, paint the girls' nails, and ask them to be helpers for our event (they love being made to feel important).
So now that you know our goals, I'm counting on all of you to ask how we are doing on them! They're not easy and they take a lot of time and MORE than a lot of patience. So please pray that we've got the stuff to get this done! Actually, we know we don't have what it takes, we count a lot on volunteers and people to support us so let us know if you ever want to help or if you have more ideas, supplies, etc. for us!
P.S. Don't worry, we know how to set boundaries too. We're going to make a red light/green light door hanger. Green light means, "go ahead and knock and we'll discuss it". Red light means, "leave us the hell alone."
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Pics
Since I spent 10 hours this weekend organizing pictures on our computer (you have literally thousands upon thousands when your husband is a professional photographer), I figured someone should appreciate my hardwork. So now that I have finally found pictures of me and Scottie, I thought I'd share some of my favorites!
Monday, September 29, 2008
The People and the Place
I first realized that something was wrong when I pulled into my apartment complex and saw 9 cop cars blocking the entrance. However, the thing that caught me off guard, wasn't the fear of whatever bad guy was lurking outside my windows, rather it was the fear of what crazy person had taken over my head. I say this because the first thought that popped into my head when I saw this black and white ominous sign was, "man, I really LOVE my apartment complex!". My next thought was, "huh?! What's wrong with me!"
You see, it's not that I love excitement and danger (I rather loathe that actually) it's that I love the people inside these gates that these 9 cop cars are trying to protect. While I didn't love that there was a thuggish looking character walking around with a glock on his hip the other day, I did love that the kids who live here sought out my husband for protection when they saw this bad guy. And I can't say that I was particularly excited to see the hookers hanging out on my neighbor's porch, but I was excited that we got the chance to say hi and invite them to our next event. Of course the thing I am the least excited about are the stories that the kids around here tell about watching their mom cry in jail or hiding when the bad guys came looking for their dad with a gun, but I am so glad that I am here to listen to their stories and to help them deal with these things.
So while it is a scary place, somehow I am not afraid. I am so so so happy that I live in a place that challenges me; where the people are real, the cars are broken, and the kids are out of control. And for the first time ever when I was sitting on my porch overlooking my fairytale tree as I call it, I thought I how I really hope I never get a house, because I never want to leave this place!! Quite a change from my first few blogs about how I was so scared I would hate my new apartment, huh!
And as promised, here are the pics of my wonderful apartment (finally!)
P.S I'll put up pictures of my "Princess Porch" (as Scottie calls it) as soon as I get some taken of the finished product!
You see, it's not that I love excitement and danger (I rather loathe that actually) it's that I love the people inside these gates that these 9 cop cars are trying to protect. While I didn't love that there was a thuggish looking character walking around with a glock on his hip the other day, I did love that the kids who live here sought out my husband for protection when they saw this bad guy. And I can't say that I was particularly excited to see the hookers hanging out on my neighbor's porch, but I was excited that we got the chance to say hi and invite them to our next event. Of course the thing I am the least excited about are the stories that the kids around here tell about watching their mom cry in jail or hiding when the bad guys came looking for their dad with a gun, but I am so glad that I am here to listen to their stories and to help them deal with these things.
So while it is a scary place, somehow I am not afraid. I am so so so happy that I live in a place that challenges me; where the people are real, the cars are broken, and the kids are out of control. And for the first time ever when I was sitting on my porch overlooking my fairytale tree as I call it, I thought I how I really hope I never get a house, because I never want to leave this place!! Quite a change from my first few blogs about how I was so scared I would hate my new apartment, huh!
And as promised, here are the pics of my wonderful apartment (finally!)
P.S I'll put up pictures of my "Princess Porch" (as Scottie calls it) as soon as I get some taken of the finished product!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My mortal enemy... The mosquito.
So now we are going to talk about mosquitoes. That's right, those little buggers that fly around unsuspecting nature lovers, just waiting for the chance to suck you dry. I am sorry, but I now officially hate them. I know they're just trying to survive and get their daily dose of blood, but dude, indulge in moderation, puh-lease! Let me tell you why I hate mosquitoes.My story begins with the story of my genetics. Apparently my father and I have a taste for the sugar. We are infiltrated with sweet juicy blood and the bugs, they love that. If we are in a room full of 10 people and 1 mosquito comes in, we will each get sucked on 8 times in 2 minutes, while everyone else leaves with the same amount of blood they came in with (well, depending on exactly what kind of activities these other 8 people are participating in). At least with my dad around, I had someone to share the burden with but you gotta leave the nest some time.
Now fast forward to my reminder of how much I hate mosquitoes. I recently went to El Paso (remember the Alamo) to visit my in laws, who apparently hate me because they just let me wander out into a mosquito plague without so much as batting an eye or uttering a warning! So there I am, skipping along to my ipod with my umbrella in hand, taking in the picture of the mountains shadowing over the fields and all that when I first see a member of my most hated species. He is on my arm and I decide to pretend it is just some gnat. I continue my stroll undisturbed and still happy until I see yet another "gnat". It is at this point that I realize there are plenty on me and they are all feasting away on my veins, which leads me to believe that they definitely are mosquitoes and they definitely have it in for me. I turn and run and end up in hysterics by the time I fly through the front door and verbally assault my husband for not protecting me from the monsters outside. Luckily Granny has the magic kinds of medicine that all grannies seem to have that make it all better. And my husband takes me into the bathroom like a 5 year old, to swat bugs off of me and to apply this magic potion to all my owies. This makes me a little less pissed and at least clearheaded enough to realize that this is not ENTIRELY his fault.
Oh and I may have forgotten to mention that I am actually allergic to these little villains as well! So the 17 mosquito bites that I received in the 4.2 minutes that I was outside, all begin to swell to the size of pennies. Luckily, I also have magical allergy medicine (at least it freakin better be magical for the amount they charge for it) and I was able to reduce them from major monstrosities to meager annoyances. But the war had begun...
I had thought I was over it. I had thought I had moved on with my life! But low and behold, they tracked me... They followed me... They found me... And they attacked me.
Last night I was sitting in the car talking with my friend and I noticed a bug fly in the window. I shooed him and continued my conversation, well at least I continued until I realized I had been itching multiple locations on my left arm. AHHHH!!! That does it!!! How can I be in a practically mosquito free state, sitting in a car for no more than an hour, with the tiny window rolled down slightly, when the one mosquito in all of Arizona finds me and proceeds to mutilate me?! How does that happen?! I was furious! If they keep this up, I'm going to have agoraphobia in no time! I will have to wear bee suits with full netting and all every time I have to walk to my car! How can something so tiny ruin the life of something so much bigger than it? (Might I mention that while I received 9 bites on my left arm, my friend escaped completely itch free!). I hate them and I am currently masterminding an evil plot to destroy them all (if any of you leak my plan to them, you're going down too!)
Friday, September 5, 2008
Great Blog
I just can't help myself, I have to share with you the best blog I know of. Her pen name is "Mrs. Spice" and she is the daughter of a wonderful lady that I work with. The reason I'm recommending her blog to all of you is because it is so funny, especially if you like little kid stories! She is the only person I am not good friends with in real life whose blog I read, just because it's so entertaining and hilarious!
The best part about it is that it is a total pick-me-up. She is somehow able to put a positive spin on every event in her life and she finds the humor in everything (a true inspiration to me!). Whenever I'm getting all Debbie Downer it's really good for me to get a little Spice perspective so I thought I'd refer all of you onto this since pure positivity seems to be rare in life!
The best part about it is that it is a total pick-me-up. She is somehow able to put a positive spin on every event in her life and she finds the humor in everything (a true inspiration to me!). Whenever I'm getting all Debbie Downer it's really good for me to get a little Spice perspective so I thought I'd refer all of you onto this since pure positivity seems to be rare in life!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
To Return Soon
Hi everyone,
Sorry I have been absent from the world of blogging. I guess I just haven't had any inspiration latel. But please don't give up on me, I will be back- pinky swear!
Sorry I have been absent from the world of blogging. I guess I just haven't had any inspiration latel. But please don't give up on me, I will be back- pinky swear!
Friday, August 8, 2008
This week in a nutshell
You may be wondering what happened to me. I know you have all just been on the edge of your seats wondering what fantastic and zany happenings have been going on in the incredibly interesting world of Breanna. OK, so maybe not, but I'm back to tell you about it anyways. It's amazing how much work there is to do when you go from working 5 days a week to 2, it doesn't leave much time for blogging on the job!
Well my first week off was great. Of course, it's not a very good representation of what it will be like since both Scottie and I decided not to do anything productive and to not recognize that I've had a salary reduction, so we just hung out and spent money doing fun stuff! It was my little vacation at home! But it was much needed so I don't even guilty, I'm just happy about my new life! Here's the cliff notes to our week:
Well my first week off was great. Of course, it's not a very good representation of what it will be like since both Scottie and I decided not to do anything productive and to not recognize that I've had a salary reduction, so we just hung out and spent money doing fun stuff! It was my little vacation at home! But it was much needed so I don't even guilty, I'm just happy about my new life! Here's the cliff notes to our week:
- Slept for 11 hours on a couple of different days and never got up before 10am.
- Rolled out bed just in time to watch Roseanne (my guilty pleasure that I usually reserve for sick days)
- Often went out on the town: shopping; to my favorite coffee shop, Inside the Bungalow (that has previously been closed during times I was off work but now has longer hours!
- Watched movies at home, watched movies at the theater
- Went to lunch with friends
- Stayed up late every night talking
- Helped my cousin make an Elmo cake for her 2 year old daughter's birthday party
- Went to the birthday party at a gym and watched 2 & 3 year olds roll around in leotards, attempting to stay on balance beams, jumpy things, and such (I think their heads are a little too disproportionate to their bodies for that kind of coordination yet- reminds me of watching kindergartners play soccer when every kid on the entire field somehow ends up in a massive dog pile at least 7 times during every game)
Are you jealous yet?
The downside to this flexible schedule is that my body is not used to waking up at a certain time (not that it ever did get used to 6am) so when my alarm clock didn't go off on Thursday for my first day back at work, I had no idea. I woke up to my boss calling me 30 min. after I should've been there! Good thing I work at a grace-based place, even if everyone there does think they're hilarious and enjoys putting little alarm clock signs all over my desk and mocking me for the rest of the day!
I also need to update on our first Apartment Life (Cares Team) event! We did "Popsicles by the Pool" which means we brought an ice chest down to the pool and watched about 10 unsupervised kids under the age of 7 (most of whom couldn't swim, mind you) drop their otter pops into the pool about 100 times and gorge themselves on Drumsticks. At one point a kid rode his 10 speed bike into the pool (I think on accident) but we were just relieved that he missed the gigantic Bull mastiff that was swimming with us. Can you just picture the chaos here!? It was a ton of fun though.
Later that night, some of our neighbors (2 out of the 4 grown ups that were at the pool helping us rescue drowning kids) planned an impromptu BBQ. Unfortunately, it takes several hours to get 8 totally wasted people in one place with all the right equipment. So at about 10pm we settled down for dinner, using the plant pot as our table (since there are no outdoor tables or chairs in our entire complex except for in the pool area and I don't think we'd be as successful at rescuing drowning adult-sized drunks as we were with the kids). Since sober adult conversation was out of the question, I spent the entire night playing with 2 little girls on the jungle gym, making up stories, and drawing hop scotches with sidewalk chalk. I have to say that my favorite part of the whole night was when I asked a beautiful 3 year old girl to tell me a story and she said to me, "Did I tell you about the time that a star fell out of the sky and hit me in the head?!" I am willing to have a child for the sole purpose of hearing her say that to me one day and I will consider that my success as a parent.
So obviously, we haven't really gotten to the whole spiritual part of Apartment Life! But we've had a lot of fun getting to know all the residents around there, and I still don't think we could've picked a better place to live. I have to remind myself of that every time I vacuum up 50 dead baby cockroaches at a time from my living room floor.
I promise I will have pics of our apartment up very soon!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Reefer Madness Revealed
So why do I need to pay $1,000 per class or so at seminary when I can get all the learnin' I need from cable TV?! This morning I watched a highly educational show while I was getting ready for work called "Reefer Madness". Ever seen it? It is a movie that was originally made in 1936 by a church group (excellent production quality for a Christian flick I might add) to warn people against the dangers of smoking marijuana. Some guy found it and turned it into an exploitative film by adding a few more scandalous scenes so it would rake in more money and in the 70's some other guy bought it and turned into a college classic comedy.Wow, what can I even say? I am sure glad to know that smoking a joint will turn me into a raging serial killer with schizophrenic tendencies! After all, that one kid DID murder his whole family with an axe while high on pot. And just so all of you know, apparently, marijuana is more of a risk to our young people than either heroin OR cocaine. I wonder where meth falls on that scale? It's got to be a close second since, according to the film, they make you behave exactly the same way. Anyone remember that episode of Saved By the Bell where Jessie was taking caffeine pills, only by the way she was acting, you would think it was speed?
Oh, you can only laugh I suppose. People are so fearful. You can read my blog ranting about the effects of this film (and other drug propaganda tools) on kids and our drug culture here if you are interested. I have to warn you though, that blog is a lot less light hearted and a lot more real life.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Gift Giving Cheats
OK, well maybe it doesn't officially count as cheating, but it does take a lot of the work out of it. I'm talking about several cool websites I have found recently that have been lifesavers for me when it comes to gift giving. They have been so helpful, I thought I would share my treasure...
1. www.gifts.com/finder- This website is absolutely A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The only explanation I have for how well it selects gifts for people is that there must be tiny magical green men who use secret fairy dust to determine which gifts would be right for which people. Basically you answer a few simple questions about the person and it gives you a ton of gift ideas. The crazy part is that I have always found them to be right on and they are super creative and unique suggestions. I put myself in there to get ideas of things to put on my Christmas wish list and I built most of my list of their ideas because I loved everything they suggested for me (plus they made me feel cool because they called me a "hipster").
2. http://www.perpetualkid.com/ - This site is just like all the trendy and clever little nicknack's they sell at Urban Outfitters, but there are thousands of them instead of like 50. A lot of the stuff is very funny too.
3. http://www.wearyourmusic.org/ - This is for the music lover. You can purchase bracelets made out of actual guitar strings that were used by your favorite musicians. They have everyone from Bela Fleck and the Jimmy Buffet to John Mayer and Avril Lavigne. They are kind of pricey ($100 - $200 or so) but would make a very special gift! All profits are donated to charity.
4. http://www.knockknock.biz/ - This one has less options but they are still interesting none the less. I'm not sure how to explain it, so you just have to check it out.
5. http://www.club-offers.com/ - For my birthday I really wanted someone to get me into a "Flowers of the Month" club where they deliver one bouquet every month to your house (I didn't get it). This doesn't have to be cheesy old lady stuff (like "crocheted pot holder of the month") they have "Beer of the Month", "Movie of the Month", "Dessert of the Month", etc. I think it is a fun gift.
6. http://www.hipstercards.com/ - And for all you cheapo's out there who like to give free gifts ( btw, the thought only counts like a couple of times and after that we want presents!) here is a free e-card site that actually has cool e-cards. Some are funny, some raunchy, and some artistic.
Feel free to add suggestions in your comments. Happy shopping!
1. www.gifts.com/finder- This website is absolutely A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The only explanation I have for how well it selects gifts for people is that there must be tiny magical green men who use secret fairy dust to determine which gifts would be right for which people. Basically you answer a few simple questions about the person and it gives you a ton of gift ideas. The crazy part is that I have always found them to be right on and they are super creative and unique suggestions. I put myself in there to get ideas of things to put on my Christmas wish list and I built most of my list of their ideas because I loved everything they suggested for me (plus they made me feel cool because they called me a "hipster").
2. http://www.perpetualkid.com/ - This site is just like all the trendy and clever little nicknack's they sell at Urban Outfitters, but there are thousands of them instead of like 50. A lot of the stuff is very funny too.
3. http://www.wearyourmusic.org/ - This is for the music lover. You can purchase bracelets made out of actual guitar strings that were used by your favorite musicians. They have everyone from Bela Fleck and the Jimmy Buffet to John Mayer and Avril Lavigne. They are kind of pricey ($100 - $200 or so) but would make a very special gift! All profits are donated to charity.
4. http://www.knockknock.biz/ - This one has less options but they are still interesting none the less. I'm not sure how to explain it, so you just have to check it out.
5. http://www.club-offers.com/ - For my birthday I really wanted someone to get me into a "Flowers of the Month" club where they deliver one bouquet every month to your house (I didn't get it). This doesn't have to be cheesy old lady stuff (like "crocheted pot holder of the month") they have "Beer of the Month", "Movie of the Month", "Dessert of the Month", etc. I think it is a fun gift.
6. http://www.hipstercards.com/ - And for all you cheapo's out there who like to give free gifts ( btw, the thought only counts like a couple of times and after that we want presents!) here is a free e-card site that actually has cool e-cards. Some are funny, some raunchy, and some artistic.
Feel free to add suggestions in your comments. Happy shopping!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Home Sweet Home
So for all my bellyaching, you may be surprised to find out that I totally FREAKING love my new apartment! The interior is more like 1989 rather than 1983 like the model had and there is a ginormous tree that shades us, gives us privacy, and makes me feel like a fairy princess. It's also the most happenin' place in the neighborhood to hang out (if you are an 8 year old). There is tons of storage in our place, new carpet, full size washer and dryer (Scottie was thrilled that his towels no longer smell like mildew the way they did when we had a half size set), and best of all the neighbors are some of the best people I have ever met! They are not just cordial, they are like, "hey new best friends, come over and have tons of fun with us!" So cool! It just couldn't be better. I'm totally surprised that I am so happy considering that I usually view any change as only bad. It's great, or at least it will be once I can walk without stubbing my toe on boxes! So here are the awesome stories so far (I'm sure there will be plenty more).
First of all, when we were moving in, Scottie bent down to pick up a box, only to turn his head to the side and watch a little kid standing about 4 feet away, pull down his pants and pee on our step!! So funny!
The next morning when I left for work, there was cat puke on the steps, and when I returned there were used Q-tips laying all over the place. The steps are D-I-R-T-Y to say the least, but I love how random the crap on them is!
On our first full day there, Scottie called me and said, "well, it's our first day in our new place and so far I stole and I looked at porn". Apparently, some little kids found some "adult" playing cards and when they walked away Scottie stole them and threw them away! At least I think he threw them away.... j/k.
Pee, porn, thievery, puke, and earwax. Now this is the life!
P.S. So far the best part about living in a poor neighborhood is that you can get cheap and delicious fried stuff almost anywhere! Frybread, Mmm....
First of all, when we were moving in, Scottie bent down to pick up a box, only to turn his head to the side and watch a little kid standing about 4 feet away, pull down his pants and pee on our step!! So funny!
The next morning when I left for work, there was cat puke on the steps, and when I returned there were used Q-tips laying all over the place. The steps are D-I-R-T-Y to say the least, but I love how random the crap on them is!
On our first full day there, Scottie called me and said, "well, it's our first day in our new place and so far I stole and I looked at porn". Apparently, some little kids found some "adult" playing cards and when they walked away Scottie stole them and threw them away! At least I think he threw them away.... j/k.
Pee, porn, thievery, puke, and earwax. Now this is the life!
P.S. So far the best part about living in a poor neighborhood is that you can get cheap and delicious fried stuff almost anywhere! Frybread, Mmm....
Friday, June 27, 2008
Most Spiritually Significant Films
Here are the movies that Relevant Magazine named, "The Most Spiritually Significant Films of the Last 10 Years" They define that as films that transcend entertainment and speak to deep truths...
- Oh Brother, Where Art Thou
- Big Kahuna
- American History X
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
- American Beauty
- Crash
- The Green Mile
- No Country For Old Men
- The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
- The Royal Tenenbaums
I don't think there are any that I specifically disagree with, but I don't remember being that struck by the themes in "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou". And I haven't seen "Big Kahuna", "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", or "No Country for Old Men". But the first two are going on my Netflix list now.
Here are the movies I would add to this list (some might be older than 10 years)...
- Fight Club
- Into the Wild
- Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
- The Shawshank Redemption
- Magnolia
- September Dawn
I thought it would be interesting to get opinions from all of you. Do you agree with the list? What movies would you add or take off?
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