The Adventures of Lil' B

"All grown-ups were children first.

(But few remember it)".
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince) ~

Since I don’t think there is anyone reading this blog who has known me since I was a child (if there is, you’re a lurker!), I thought I’d fill you in on what you missed out on in knowing little Breanna. I say this, because I love little Breanna and I still feel a deep connection to her that I try to maintain throughout my grown up years because I feel like she is one of the most valuable parts to me. So let me introduce you... and for the sake of carpal tunnel syndrome, we’ll shorten her name to “Lil’ B”.....

To start with, Lil' B has long, light brown, wavy hair that goes to her butt (but she's young so its not all scraggly looking yet). She has lots of baby fat and tiny baby teeth (her grown up horse teeth haven't come in yet). Lil' B only tolerates the real world long enough to squeeze in her pretend world (let the psychoanalyzing begin!). She doesn't walk because she'd rather tap dance; she doesn't talk because singing is so much more graceful; and she doesn't go by her real name because "Charity Rose" is better.

Lil' B (aka Charity Rose) spends her days showing off her ballerina moves (totally made up), singing skills (she thinks she knows how to do vibrato by shaking her voice), and handstands (that only make it half way up) to the video camera while her mom films. Between pouts (because her mom insists on announcing her entrance the wrong way), Lil' B. flounces around in front of the camera in her leotard and whatever shiny accessories she found in the dress up closet that particular day, whether it be a pink feather boa, a princess crown, a tutu, or ruby slippers her mom made (shoes covered with shiny red cloth because that was before the Target empire picked them up).

When she is not being the center of the universe (pause to psychoanalyze again) Lil' B is playing with her cousins, Jeffrey and Bethany and allowing her little brother, Ross, to tag along if he does everything she says and doesn't ruin her plans. Their favorite games to play are: restaurant, house (Ross is always the dog), and who can forget "Amy Grant- Ariel-Mermaid" in which Lil' B is the REAL Amy Grant Ariel Mermaid and Bethany is her identical twin (poor Bethany always had to give in to bossy Lil' B). They often ride their bikes around the coldasac (Lil' B in complete costume of bathing suit, tights, a huge jacket, and jellies), jump on the trampoline until time for bed (or until someone starts bleeding- which ever happens first), or break from swimming to watch a dorky Christian movie while eating PB&J.

Lil' B has all kinds of hopes and dreams. Her ultimate goal in life is to be "a pretty and cool teenager who hangs out at the mall with her boyfriend" (direct quote from her diary at age 7). Beyond that, she hopes to be either a famous singer or pet groomer (you know, which ever one works out). These goals change whenever she reads a book or sees a good movie, in which case she wants to be whatever profession is highlighted by the characters; everything from a social worker to an interior decorator (impressionable you think?!).

On the rare occasion that Lil' B does live in the real world rather than in her own imagination, she spends her time helping her mom take care of her baby brother and picking once a month service projects that her mom helps her choose. Lil' B is often very worried about the people who don't love God and people who are sad and hurting in the world and her mom spends a lot of time teaching her how to help and care for these people. Lil' B is happy to do this because she knows it makes Jesus and those people happy and that makes her happy. She is very careful to always follow the rules so that she doesn't make Jesus sad (and because she is scared to death of getting into trouble!). In school she gets put next to the boy who always gets other kids into trouble by talking to them because her teacher knows she will go so far to follow the rules as to ignore him completely while he continues to talk to her. But that's OK because he is still her friend and she does not get into trouble. And as long as she doesn't get into trouble, she can still go over to her friend's after school to put makeup on each other. This activity makes Lil' B's mom worry because Lil' B always chooses the very intense teal eyeshadow to layer on solid from her eyelashes all the way up to her eyebrows and she insists on hot pink lipstick to go with it and that's alot even for the '80's (needless to say, her kind mother does not allow her out in public after playing makeup). I'm sure it scared her dad quite a bit too, but he was reassured that she was still his little girl because she still wanted to hold his hand when driving and play footsies with him under the table just to make sure that he was still near her.

So now maybe you can see why Lil' B is still important to me and why I try to remember her often. She is full of things that I never want to forget about myself.

Pictures of Lil' B
The only picture with an actual Halloween costume, is the picture of Dorothy at the top, the rest were just every day attire!

I bought dresses based on how much they would twirl when I spun around and by how puffy the sleeves were. You can't tell but this one had the best puffy sleeves!

Aren't those earrings beautiful?! (Maybe that's what he's laughing at).

Yep, just another normal day at our house!

I specifically remember my mom telling me this "outfit" was too small to wear anymore. I specifically remember not believing her. Thanks for trying mom.

If you had a leotard with a bear in a tutu when you were little, you would've worn it every day too!

"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him.
If you tell grown-ups, "I saw a beautiful red brick house, with geraniums at the windows and doves on the roof...," they won't be able to imagine such a house. You have to tell them, "I saw a house worth a hundred thousand francs." Then they exclaim, "What a pretty house!"
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince)~

The Children of the Corn... I mean, of our apartment complex

I think we have officially figured out what our niche will be in our apartment life ministry. And that is with the kids. Yes, those wild and crazy, unruly kids. They range in ages 3-9 and they rule our complex. I think people are actually afraid of them! They have a grand 'ole time. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy breaking windows; plugging up the Jacuzzis with rocks; having yard sales with the things you found in the trash (unfortunately for them, their clientele figured out the origin of these "treasures" pretty quickly because they had the sale directly in front of the dumpster); and climbing to the very tippy top of the three story high pointy, slippery roof above the jungle gym. Now add to that, going over to Scottie and Breanna's every 20 minutes and banging on the door until they answer (because you just know they're home and they probably can't hear you) so that you can use their "internet" (they think Microsoft Word is the internet). Sounds like the life to me!

Well needless to say, we totally love these kids. We love walking out our door and seeing a kid in a tree pointing a water gun at us and hearing his very stern voice yell, "freeze motherf***er!" followed by the immediate begging and pleading that comes with the apology of a terrified child who just realized they accidentally allowed a grown up witnessed their wrong doing. Btw: This is the same 8 year old who asked my mom a few weeks later, "what's church"? (Of course she explained that it is a place you go with Scottie and Breanna before you go to McDonald's).

These kids are just real and themselves, and we love it. Now for the part that I am excited about.... Here are 6 specific goals we have for these kids in the near future:

1. Take as many of them to church as often as we can (McDonald's included when the tooth fairy's feeling extra generous- j/k we'll sponsor one trip per kid).
2. Arrange a rewards system for them. Something like a star chart or possible where they can earn "beans" (Nanny 911 tip) in order to accumulate enough for a reward (like a camp out night or buying nick knacks in a store). This rewards system will also function for good Sunday school behavior. i.e. 1 star= McDonald's, 3 stars= Happy Meal!! (We have to start low because we'll just be excited if they get out of the negatives).
3. Work on a "Character Counts" kid's club. This will be using the public school's curriculum for this program. Each month we will gather to do fun activities all centering around a particular character trait using the acronym TRRFCC (Terrific): Trustworthiness, Respect, Responsibility, Fairness, Citizenship, Caring). (yeah I think that acronym is a bit of a stretch too- no way does that spell "terrific"- but whatever, it works).
4. Spend time with the main troublemakers (the older kids) discussing leadership and the responsibilities that come with it (I'm so grateful to Spiderman's uncle for stressing this point- makes for a useful teaching tool). Then teaching them to use their natural leadership to create positive change in the world by working on traits that strengthen this positive leadership.
5. This one is my favorite. My husband had the great idea to work together with the maintenance crew to find easy jobs around the complex that he and the kids can do together (i.e. patch all the holes the kids have kicked in the walls). This isn't a form of punishment, rather it will be a time to make the kids feel special because they get to spend time with Scottie (they totally crave positive male attention) and they will get to feel proud of the things they do around the community, as well as seeing how much work goes into keeping it nice so they will hopefully think twice about destroying it. Plus, Scottie can reinforce all the things we talk about in the "character counts kid's club" while doing these activities.
6. And then of course, we want to just love on them. Just spend time with them, let them on the "internet", let them throw water balloons at each other off our balcony (I can't blame them, it works so much better from the 3rd story than from ground level!), do art projects with them, paint the girls' nails, and ask them to be helpers for our event (they love being made to feel important).

So now that you know our goals, I'm counting on all of you to ask how we are doing on them! They're not easy and they take a lot of time and MORE than a lot of patience. So please pray that we've got the stuff to get this done! Actually, we know we don't have what it takes, we count a lot on volunteers and people to support us so let us know if you ever want to help or if you have more ideas, supplies, etc. for us!

P.S. Don't worry, we know how to set boundaries too. We're going to make a red light/green light door hanger. Green light means, "go ahead and knock and we'll discuss it". Red light means, "leave us the hell alone."