Letter to my dad

So I was writing this letter to my dad tonight and I decided that he deserved more than a letter… he deserved a public acknowledgement. I only wish I had done this for some of my more in-depth letters to him that really tell you all about him! So here’s my not-so-private letter to my dad….

Hey Dad,
I have been thinking about you a lot lately and I really miss seeing you. We need to have you guys over pretty soon.

It's funny that when I went to ask you for that Doobie Brothers CD, I thought maybe I should wait because it was kind of in a chaotic moment that would make it easy to forget, but then I thought, "no, it's my dad and he always remembers little details like that if they are important to me". So I went ahead and asked and I was so happy when you not only remembered, but you went through the trouble to look for it, find it, and then call me about it. I was like, "yep, I knew he'd come through". It means a lot to me that you take even the smallest request from me so seriously and use it as an opportunity to show that you love me. :-)

Scottie is out in the kitchen right now cleaning and scrubbing out EVERYTHING because we got another major food bug infestation and we have to throw stuff out. He said he just wanted to do all that work for me so I would stop being sad about all the food that keeps going bad… and he doesn't even want me to help. I am always so glad that I married someone like you who loves to do things for me and take care of me. Someone who takes care of my car like you used to do every Saturday (although he still tries to make me check my own oil!) and someone who does all kinds of little annoying projects for me without complaining, just like you did for me all the time (everything from re-arranging all the major furniture in my bedroom every couple of months when I had a whim, to killing the ants in my closet, to coming over to plunge toilets when I was housesitting!). I'm glad I didn't get used to you treating me so well and then marry someone didn't do the same for me.

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the major purchases you've made for me over the years... mostly feeling guilty because I probably didn't use all of them enough to get your money's worth! I started adding up all those things over the years recently like the tether ball pole in the backyard that we hardly ever played, my fancy camera (which I did use quite a bit actually before digital became all the rage), all the musical stuff (my 1st guitar and the lessons that came with it, renting my flute, choir trip expenses, etc.) my trendy Nike hi-tops for my short lived basketball career, my ipod speakers (which I use ALL the time still), the trampoline (though you may have been trying to kill us with that one!), the bikes, the stereos, etc., etc. After thinking about all that, it suddenly hit me how amazing it is that you always encouraged me in all my interests... and never gave up doing that even when some of them proved to be short fads for me! It didn't matter to you that you spent tons of time researching the best product and lots of your hard earned money to buy it, only for me to use it on rare occasions, you were more concerned about continually supporting me and encouraging me in things I liked than you were in the fact that you wasted that time and money. And even though I wasn't fully aware that was what you were doing back then, I know it did so much to help me shape who I am. It made me feel like I was able to do anything I wanted to try and that I didn't have to fit some perfect mold you had for me... it told me that you would love me and accept me no matter what kind of hobbies I had and no matter what kind of identity I finally chose to adopt! You were so good about showing interest in all my interests, even though most of them were probably totally boring to you and like I said I know you always invested a lot of time into learning about these things before you bought one for me (I'll never forget hearing about all the steps that went into you buying my camera for me!). And all of that means so much to me. By the way good job at buying me fun toys and then leaving it up to mom to have to do the work to try and make me stick with it… nice little game you had going there, ha ha!

I hear so many of my friends talk about how they never lived up to the way their parents wanted them to live their life. They never got the right job, or they didn't get a house big enough to make their parents proud of them... all that junk. And of course, I have never felt the pressure from you to live up to worldly standards just so you could show me off to your worldly friends. You always encouraged me to be myself and to live for the things that really mattered and you made all the same choices in your life to be my example. The kind of choices that don't get you rich, but that make you know you're pursuing the right things in life, the things that have REAL value. And I'm SOOO grateful that I have a dad who knows what really matters, who isn't caught up in competing with all the other men around him over who's fancy new toy is better or who's kid is the most successful. I'm thankful my dad chose to work so hard and sacrifice so much of himself for the sake of his family because we are all the better for it (a major understatement... we would all be leading lives of misery if you hadn't).
I'm glad that I was able to tell my husband to quit his job when we got engaged because I would rather live poor and stay in a tiny apartment than have a work-a-holic husband and a bad marriage. And I'm glad that I could choose to live in a run down apartment complex so I could show love to the people who live there, without being worried what my friends might think. I'm thankful that I don't have to run after all the things that will leave me empty.... all because my dad taught me better than that and my dad lived better than that.

Thank you dad. You have done so much with your life and you have come so far and accomplished so much... all in the areas that really matter. You have overcome so many challenges that cursed you, you have stuck with your family and been a great example to us, you have given your life to serving others, and you have chosen humility over pride and worldly honors time and time again. I think you are a shining success.

Thank you for choosing to live your life the way you have... for us.