The Virtue of Coolness

I understand that not everyone values coolness... and I definitely think that's a good thing. If everyone valued coolness, there's all kinds of things we wouldn't have... most of them being inventions and scientific discoveries! The nerds are valuable members of our society!

I however, am not privileged enough to have the kind of brain that earned me wedgies in high school, so I have to place at least some of my value to society in the virtue of being cool.

What I mean by that is, one of my goals in life is to always be as relevant as possible to as many people as possible. Since I've had to give up my aspirations to invent the first time traveling Toyota Prius (since time traveling Deloreans are SO 1985), I have decided that if I want to create change in the world, it will be through my ability to influence people (rather than the space time continuum or the popularity of the Prius).

To develop influence I figure I have to either pick and influential group to lead or lead the masses. Well, I'm not influential enough in any area to be the MOST influential in a category. I'm completely befuddled by politics (but I DO know the word "befuddled"!), and I'm totally lost in the world of intellectuals (again... I have never received a swirly), and being a feminist (or any kind of activist for that matter) sounds exhausting to me. So that leaves me with just trying to affect average joes who can then affect other average joes. And what's more average joe than celebrity gossip, TV show trivia, and general pop culture savviness?! So that's my niche.... transform the most useless parts of our culture into something that enables me to impact at least one group of people. The bonus is that there's now at least one category I stand a chance at in trivia games!


A note to older people reading this: Since this blog is about coolness and changing with the times, I will address the subject of aging and older people. Please, no one take offense to this! This blog is NOT based on anyone specific or anything like that.... and the fact that you use the internet and read blogs is proof that this blog is not about you! If you do happen to see something that you feel is a weakness of your own... just consider it a challenge to work on it!


This is an important topic to me because I am so NOT open to change (a major component for coolness)... but I am fully aware at how that hinders me so I'm working hard on it. There are 3 main things in my life that made me notice the value of being open to new things (therefore gaining coolness points) even if I don't necessarily think they are the "better" way.

1. I decided texting was stupid so I stopped doing it. And I lost friends. That's just how they get ahold of people and plan stuff! So just because I thought it was lame, I fought something that really did me no good to fight. Sticking with the old fashioned "better" ways of calling people, did not improve my relationships like I thought it would. This made me think about what it will be like when I'm old if I refuse to communicate with my grandkids in their preferred format (even if I think it's a stupid format)... and how that will lead to me rarely communicating with them at all.

2. I noticed that I connected with Scottie's grandma very well the very first time I met her, and it's rare that I feel comfortable with an older person I don't know that quickly. Then I realized that it was because she talked to me about stuff that I knew about, rather than just telling me stories about things I have no idea about (like churning her own butter or something). She reads every issue of People magazine cover to cover and she watches every popular TV show out there (she knows more about "Desparate Housewives" and "So You Think You Can Dance" than almost anyone I know!). And then benefit to that is she doesn't give me weird looks that make me feel bad for the strange new combo of scarves and tank tops I'm wearing... because she saw Jessica Simpson wearing that months ago! And she doesn't step out of a conversation because she feels left out when we start quoting movie lines or talking about our ipods. She joins right in, acting as a function part of the group rather than a spectator (as many old people get to the point of feeling like I think). Btw, (she would probably even know what that means too!) I think stories about her life growing up are amazing and unbelievably valuable. I'm just saying that she can relay those EVEN BETTER to me if she knows where I'm coming from when I hear them.

3. One day my cousin (7 years younger than me) and I were shopping and I picked up a pair of earrings to show her. She gave me a sympathetic look (like she felt SO bad for me for being so uncool) and said, "um Breanna... people don't really.... well, they don't really wear those anymore". And I immediately recognized the tone of voice she was using on me. It was the same voice I use when I go shopping with people who I think are "old".
After recovering from my total panic of realizing that high school for me was actually a lot longer ago than I thought... I started thinking about her view of me. Now, everything I say is tainted with that "well she doesn't REALLY know what's going on" lens and it's like a swift kick to knock down everything I have to say to her that immediately takes it to a level of "yeah, whatever Breanna". If she disregards me as old and out of it, then I've lost my ability to influence her.
I decided that one day, she won't care about how cool I am and she will see past that and see the value of my opinions and everything. But what about now?! I can just write off everyone in a certain age group (i.e. the same thing she's doing to me) or I can still value her as a person and still try to influence her life now, even if I have to leave behind my old fashioned "better" ways of doing so.
Her way may not be best in my mind, but if it's the only way that works for her, I'm going to take that as an opportunity to be involved in her life (because NOW is probably the time she needs me more than ever)! There's that phrase "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care". Well being involved in all the things that are important in her world, show how much I care. And then maybe, just MAYBE, she'll care about what I have to say to her. (Sorry, un-named, 7 years younger than me cousin, you weren't that bad really, it was just that 1 time, and it was a good thing for me!). :-)

Like I said, I know this way isn't the way that everyone should go. But I enjoy this stuff anyways, so I might as well indulge my secret crush on People Magazine and my infatuation with certain shows on the "E" channel... since I can now justify it! I do have a disclaimer to all of this however, I do NOT endorse parents who read the urban dictionary so they can speak teen, or mom's who wear tube tops and Ugg boots... parents still need to be parents to some degree. It is not anyone over the age of 30's job to be on the same level of cool as their kids... it's just their job to understand what cool is!

So I've decided that if I want to maintain a lifelong knowledge of cool to at least some degree, then it will start by making a few commitments to myself. Some of these are for the sake of being "relevant" to the younger people around me and some are just born from my own youthful pride that says, "oh I hope I'm not like THAT when I get old"!


Commitments to myself as I age:

I will not let fear of the unknown dictate my actions
I will always read People magazine (or whatever Mag is cool when I'm old!)
I will always find ways to talk to people younger than me
I will change my hairstyle once every 5 years
I will keep my mind sharp (even if I have to resort to playing Trivial pursuit with Scottie)
I will watch the news
I will go see movies
I will read new books
I will let my grandkids talk about what's important to them (even if its totally boring to me)
I will never make a decision based soley on fear
I will never dismiss new music, technology, communication, etc. without first learning about it
I will not be too arrogant to accept younger people's thoughts
I will pay attention to my appearance
I will eat healthy and stay active
I will be humble enough to ask people younger than me to explain things I don't understand
I will go to unfamiliar places
I will not let my routine dictate my life
I will drive at unfamiliar times in unfamiliar places (until my family tells me I'm a scary driver)
I will ask younger people their opinions (and listen)
I will be an initiator in my relationships with people


You can all yell at me for not doing these things starting now. Since I am making this list as a result of how bad I am at this stuff... Oh this is going to suck! Ha ha!